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Comments
And they are talking unicorns about you. Serious unicorns. And you just stand there, unable to move, horrified and.. Hurt.
When you walk around the corner, and they see you, knowing you heard it all, they don't look the least bit guilty - no, in fact.. They look proud, and smirk.
I've been facing severe bouts of depression all week over some big, overarching issues in my life. Irrational has become an understatement. But I feel so stressed and upset that I'm on the verge of being physically sick.. I can't sleep anymore. I just drive around for hours. Anything to not be laying down in my bed staring at the ceiling and drowning in that emptiness.
It's alright. They mean nothing to you, obviously, as you are either a threat they have to bring down to feel comfortable, or something so unique they're afraid.
I'm the worst councilor ever, but it's how I live with myself.
---
People wonder why I'm quiet at work.
I tell them to get back to work. I'm a fakin professional, and here to work. I want a paycheck. I want a value beyond what I'm currently fixed to perform for the employer currently. I'm not here to gab.
The truth is that I hate @Nola 's situation, because that kind of school-ground pettiness is just as destructive as an adult as it was back when. You don't get anywhere at a job by bringing down other employees. You don't get anywhere in life by bringing down your friends. You don't get anywhere as a person by not allowing yourself to grow beyond looking at the people around you.
So, accept that there are bad apples in the world, prepare for the disappointment in advance, and figure out how to move on and do differently in the future.
I don't know why I just shared all that, beyond that the story strikes too many personal cords to count.
I've got three more coming, three more from Concentra, my health insurance id card is STILL nowhere to be found after haranguing them to get one (and I wasn't able to show it to dr's office to have them submit to insurer directly first) and I STILL have to get a wellness screening and proof of non-smoker to get the $500 tobacco surcharge and $600 wellness surcharge off next year's insurance. HNNNGGGG, I still need a flu shot so I don't get pneumonia again.
Every time I get a dr's bill, they wind up sending it several times, even with proof sent to them I already paid. I got one of the nurses to give me the # for financial services in case it happens this time too. I'm going to call and blast them if it does.
I was supposed to get a new car (to me) this year after driving my poor Honda for 12 years. Now it's going into dr's bills. The poor thing needs paint on the room, attention for the rust, and winterizing. I have snow tires still on it, but what is winterizing? How do I find a place to do it?
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
I'm so upset that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye and it's about to be too late.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
Sometimes it's also better to remember a person for who they were (normally, throughout life), rather than have the last memories be of them at their weakest.
But regardless of that, I'm sorry you're away from your family right now.
No amount of calling, and searching between me, my mother, and my grandmother has amounted to anything. No sign, or even a rustle.
I'll probably still open the door every day to call her.
Politics
That is all.
And parking.
That is all for real.
Sly: okay! -sticks thumb straight on it to see if it's clean- UNIFUKINGCORNS!!!!!
Welder: I didn't think it was going to pass so I just finished rewelding that
Holy god blister on pad of thumb hurts.
Politics
The left Picture is in color and the right one is black and White, if you couldn't tell yourselves.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
An example is the last 5 days I have been trying to get people to create some fun rp/pk. I tried being nice, rude, yelling, even begging, but at the end of the day vamps in loch just want to sit on their hands.
It just frustrates to me that the overall narrative of this aspect of the game is dead (pun).
Abhorash says, "Ve'kahi has proved that even bastards can earn their place."
I don't play any vampire characters, but I have a feeling the sentiment can be said for any section of the game. And the problem I have with such statements is that your way of playing a character should not be the way you believe everyone else should act, or even close to it. Every character has had different events and problems and tribulations that led them to where they are, and for you to be upset that they do not act like the archetype you have in mind is pretty silly. So what if they don't act like what you believe they should? Just my thoughts.
Edit: You edited in some more stuff while I was writing, meh.
On an unrelated note, I don't like having random shifts every week. I understand. It's a bit crazy sometimes but at least let me know ahead of time.
My rage is that this sort of 'you have to want to PK or you fail/are a coward/whatever else' mindset, really makes me just want to quit, when I encounter it in people.
Also rage because my spleen feels like it's being pulled out through my spine, and I'm home alone till Sunday so taking meds for the pain is probably not a good idea. Last time I took vicodin while I was home alone, I became super ridiculously paranoid. I didn't eat or sleep for three days because I was terrified of the kitchen, the curtain in the hallway, doors of all kinds, the bathroom sink, the shower curtain, the washer/dryer, and open spaces in general. I was fine while I was focused on Aetolia, but like, between the bathroom and such, I was carrying swords around with me and slamming doors and just generally freaking out. Urrf. I wish advil was doing anything.
Mostly, it's that I got my hair cut last week, and I feel like the gal cut my bangs poorly-looking. The only way to fix that would be to make them shorter. And the problem is related to looking too short
Totally insignificant problem, but our family only does this once every 4-5 years, and THIS is the week they had to choose. I'm terrible at doing my own hair, so I'll probably end up spending, like, 40 minutes trying to get them to look decent, and ultimately hate what I did
Also, this means I have to buy makeup, cause I'm totally out of almost anything, since I never wear it.
Also, I rage that moving 1200 miles away is very much like playing whack-a-mole. You whack one problem and another problem appears.
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
http://www.bestbuy.com/site/sony-playstation-4-500gb-black-friday-bundle-black/8637183.p?id=1219365658942&skuId=8637183&pid=1219365658942
I haven't gotten a damn thing done.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin