MAD 2: MADDEN'S MADDENING.

Buford

Best of luck to you Drestyn and good vibes being sent your way, experienced(ing) a similar ordeal recently. "Aunt" has been saying she was planning on divorcing my uncle as soon as their two kids graduated for the past... sheesh, 6 years, maybe more. He happened to have an accident at work 3 days after the kids graduated.

"Aunt" wasn't in the will, or anything like that, but marriage alone allowed her to take half of everything and leave the kids not too terribly much. If the accident wouldn't have happened they'd probably be divorced by now. Played the whole grieving widow card the whole way to the bank, and claimed my youngest cousin's college fund my uncle had stashed away for him - and promptly spent it all already.

It's rage inducing, and to be entirely honest with you, the only thing that's kept my spirits up during it is the general idea of what comes around goes around. They will run out of money at one point, and when they do they'll have nobody left in their corner to support them as a result of their actions. I'm counting down the days until that happens and she comes begging for help only to find nothing.

Sibatti

@Drestyn seriously lawyer up. Contact an estate lawyer in the state he was a resident of because this can get very messy, and I know from personal experience.

Drestyn

Thank you, guys. I've been lawyer'd up with a good probate lawyer for a while along with my sister. Though, having to just hear news of the goings on stress me out.

@Buford Yeah, that sounds like my dad's wife aside from the whole divorce stuff; she was barely married to him for a year. Though, I have a mighty big karma bomb for her, estate-wise.

Sessizlik

Watching someone you care about being sad because of something you are involved in is pretty harsh.. Not my fault but it's -still- gonna come down to me apoligizing to smoothe things over.. I will always and forever find that upsetting.

Axius

another sad from me today...

just... depression sits on the brain and it sucks.. add in not feeling very good (I've been trying to catch whatever bug that has been cycling around my family, in spite of my attempts to prevent it) ... this all mixes together and.. well ... I'm posting here because I think it's a better outlet than wanting to find a quiet corner and bawl my eyes out because of how awful I feel..

Ishin

Axius said:

another sad from me today...

just... depression sits on the brain and it sucks.. add in not feeling very good (I've been trying to catch whatever bug that has been cycling around my family, in spite of my attempts to prevent it) ... this all mixes together and.. well ... I'm posting here because I think it's a better outlet than wanting to find a quiet corner and bawl my eyes out because of how awful I feel..

I know how depression feels, man. I recently took a class called REBT at the Veteran's hospital(Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) that deals with depression and anxiety and how you can slowly turn your perspective and perceptions into more balanced things, rather than being negative all the time. Basically, you don't take huge steps in order to do so. It's more like...dieting. You take small steps, make small changes, and work on it bit by bit. Like, 'Everyone else is always such an asshole.' becomes, 'Most other people are usually assholes.', and then slowly shifts from there.

I can guarantee you're probably not the piece of shit you sound like you feel you are, so try to think of small, positive things about yourself. For example, you woke up this morning. Being alive is a good, positive thing. You're also posting here instead of wallowing in your negative emotions. This, too, is a good and positive thing.

Axius

@Ishin

I do appreciate the comment, and I admit, I think the meaning might've gotten a little lost in translation.. I -do- suffer from depression, it comes with the bipolar, but my feeling like shit has to do more with my being depressed being mixed by my actually feeling physically like crap. I was (and still kind of am) sick. The mixture of being depressed plus physical aches and pains of being sick just boiled down to my feeling like I just.. could do nothing but either vent, or find a corner to cry in.

I'm not saying I don't appreciate the advice, as it's good advice, it's the sort of advice I already follow honestly. But I suspect that you may have misread the "I feel like crap" as "I feel like a piece of crap." which.. is a bit of a different thing entirely..

Again, thank you, I'm slowly clawing my way out of it, it's slower going than normal, which is unusual for me, but it's by no means me wanting to bawl like a little kid in the corner anymore, just a general.. cloud of fog squatting on my brain right now.

Ishin

Oh. If you're sick, just eat medicine. That shit'll go away.

Git immune system, scrub.

Sarita

EDIT: Wrong thread!

Seir

@Emelle suggested listening to music at work today to pass the time.

Search on Youtube. Find Hozier - Take Me to Church.

It's stuck in my head again like it was before. Plz halp.

First World Problems.

Axius

@Seir

Emir

I had to miss the Brawl because there are, somehow, even more irresponsible people in this world than me.

Sessizlik

I have the best job ever. I work with chocolate every day and it's a job that I worked very hard to get. But now, there's some friktion between us coworkers. Two of us have talked to the boss, in hopes of getting a meeting to clear the air, but nothing ever happens. It's come to the point that one of my coworkers want to quit, and if she quits, I will too, cause I wouldn't be able to cope with the last coworker myself.

It's very frustrating, but I'll be damned if I can't find a way to work this out before my friend leaves the company!

Roxi

There's a radio show I listen to in the morning, and the first hour they're on they play "Best of" (reruns). Every time they play this one episode, it gets to me. Maddening doesn't even -begin- to describe it. A listener emails them, asking for advice dealing with a couple (friends of his) who have sent out marriage invitations, set up a wedding, the whole shebang, but they're "not really getting married", because they don't want/can't afford/don't agree with getting the government paperwork for it. The old bitchy woman on the show absolutely loses it. People that have ceremonies without paperwork are liars, she says. They aren't really married, even if their names are changed and they live as if they are. They (somehow) hate gay people, and don't want them to get the right to marry (this was before the court ruling in the US). They're belittling the people throughout history who have fought for the right to have that stupid piece of paper.

It makes me -so- angry, I literally feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. Throught the half hour segment, they ask her various questions, including "if they had a really good reason, would that make it more acceptable?" and "what about all the people married before the government was involved?". None of it is good enough for her. Her judgemental bullshit pisses me off so much, because this is the -same- woman that goes on and on about 'love is love' and her God this, and Jesus that, but she's so damn high-and-mighty while she's slinging her judgy crap.

I got married in July of 2010, and I didn't get my SUPER LEGITIMIZING PAPERWORK until the February after, because my mother was dying, and I couldn't afford everything. I guess I've been living a lie, my marriage is a sham, and I hate gay people now because of it.

I think the only thing that infuriates me more than hypocritical jackoffs are people that are willfully ingnorant, and this woman encapsulates both things in this, and it makes me simultaneously want to be depressed and cry because people can be so judgemental bitches without knowing a goddamn thing about the person or the situation, and want to write a scathing letter because if I did anything else I'd likely regret it later.

Seir

Roxi said:

There's a radio show I listen to in the morning, and the first hour they're on they play "Best of" (reruns). Every time they play this one episode, it gets to me. Maddening doesn't even -begin- to describe it. A listener emails them, asking for advice dealing with a couple (friends of his) who have sent out marriage invitations, set up a wedding, the whole shebang, but they're "not really getting married", because they don't want/can't afford/don't agree with getting the government paperwork for it. The old bitchy woman on the show absolutely loses it. People that have ceremonies without paperwork are liars, she says. They aren't really married, even if their names are changed and they live as if they are. They (somehow) hate gay people, and don't want them to get the right to marry (this was before the court ruling in the US). They're belittling the people throughout history who have fought for the right to have that stupid piece of paper.

It makes me -so- angry, I literally feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. Throught the half hour segment, they ask her various questions, including "if they had a really good reason, would that make it more acceptable?" and "what about all the people married before the government was involved?". None of it is good enough for her. Her judgemental unicorns pisses me off so much, because this is the -same- woman that goes on and on about 'love is love' and her God this, and Jesus that, but she's so damn high-and-mighty while she's slinging her judgy crap.

I got married in July of 2010, and I didn't get my SUPER LEGITIMIZING PAPERWORK until the February after, because my mother was dying, and I couldn't afford everything. I guess I've been living a lie, my marriage is a sham, and I hate gay people now because of it.

I think the only thing that infuriates me more than hypocritical jackoffs are people that are willfully ingnorant, and this woman encapsulates both things in this, and it makes me simultaneously want to be depressed and cry because people can be so judgemental bitches without knowing a goddamn thing about the person or the situation, and want to write a scathing letter because if I did anything else I'd likely regret it later.

@Roxi, if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years, especially being a government employee, haters are just gonna hate. Take comfort in that the majority of people ultimately agree with your stance and acknowledge, just as you do, that hypocrisy exists and comes in many shapes and forms. The worst punishment for people with these opinions (at least to me) is society at large condemning them for their opinion. They will feel persecuted, but it's really that people are intolerant of intolerance. This is largely because of the Paradox of Tolerance. To sum up the paradox, it basically says that when people are tolerant of intolerance and allow it to rule uncontested, tolerance will eventually disappear completely and leave only intolerance behind.

But really, there are just going to be negative people anywhere, usually projecting and wanting to make others just as miserable as they are. Your wedding and marriage is a beautiful thing to a majority of folks on a whole and you and your significant other love each other, I'm sure, which is what makes it all the worth while and damn what anyone else thinks.

Emelle

My work situation right now. I don't have it in me to say a lot, but the short version is that I thought working in higher education would be a lot more rewarding than it actually is.

Axius

Emelle said:

My work situation right now. I don't have it in me to say a lot, but the short version is that I thought working in higher education would be a lot more rewarding than it actually is.

If you are meaning here in america, I wish to apologize for those kids who are just coming after my generation, and those of my generation you may or may not still be dealing with. A lot of us are idiots, and I admit, my view might be tainted by the fact that in highschool, there were a lot of pregnant girls, and a lot of guys who had to adjust their schedules to allow them to head off to work to take care of their girlfriends. And that it was pretty spectacularly common for some of the students not to know crucial important information that should have been hammered in since Kindergarden, if not Pre-K. (Seriously, had a student have to ask who Rosa Parks was in one of my highschool classes. ) I appreciate you for your hard work though, I know teachers aren't paid nearly enough to put up with the crap they do, and honestly, I think parents should take a step back and butt out on the education parts, and focus on the social aspects like bullying and crap. -_-"

Emir

I have 2 adorable, lovable, amazing dogs. One full blood pit and one half pit half lab mix. They're /amazing/, I love them to death. But my boy Moose, the half lab/half pit, has separation anxiety, and I just kicked out my roommates so when I go to work he's home with just Charlotte, the pit, and that's apparently not enough to keep him from freaking out. In 2 days he's destroyed an xbox controller, the controller to my surround sound, one of the speakers to said surround sound, two phone chargers, a lamp, and an electric tooth brush that I'm still trying to figure out how he got in the first place.

Money is tight right now so I can't afford to get him a crate and I'm running out of options. I tried locking him up in one of the spare bedrooms with Charlotte so there wasn't anything he could get a hold of and he'd have company. Came back to the bottom 2 inches of the door missing. This is more of a sad than mad because I hate that he feels this way (he's a rescue, so I imagine every time I leave he thinks I'm not coming back) but there's about to be nothing left to chew on except my TV and PC. I don't want to find him a new home but I don't want him to destroy everything I own.

Rhyot

Talk to your local pet trainers and they might be able to help. Vortex (my 2 year old great pyrenese/red heeler mix) was very much the same way. I got advice from them that worked great with him. In that you leave for short periods of time, then extend said times to the point that they understand you're going to come back.

If that doesn't work, I would suggest a kennel. I think I got a large one for like, $50 from amazon.

Axius

https://arstechnica.com/security/2017/02/serious-cloudflare-bug-exposed-a-potpourri-of-secret-customer-data/


bugs like this frustrate me.. I have to change my passwords again.. and I don't know where my notebook went that I normally would write this stuff down in as far as new passwords go, so I'm forced to redo them manually.

Toz

Axius said:

https://arstechnica.com/security/2017/02/serious-cloudflare-bug-exposed-a-potpourri-of-secret-customer-data/


bugs like this frustrate me.. I have to change my passwords again.. and I don't know where my notebook went that I normally would write this stuff down in as far as new passwords go, so I'm forced to redo them manually.

I've been sort of torn on getting something like Keepass. I'm reaching the point of 'too many passwords to remember', but I'm also instinctively mistrustful of anything that's like 'oh yeah buddy, sure you can give me all your passwords'.

Seir

@Toz, as a military person, I feel like you may appreciate this: http://www.duffelblog.com/2017/02/dod-to-require-passwords-using-27-different-letters-minimum/

Toz

"“I pointed out several times that these requirements literally make it impossible to create an acceptable password," said Capt. Tom Garrison, the only end-user and non-civilian working in the SHIT office. “They told me to contact the help desk for assistance.”"

Too close to home. Manager does something, IT suffers. @Xavin will feel it too

Seir

Toz said:

"“I pointed out several times that these requirements literally make it impossible to create an acceptable password," said Capt. Tom Garrison, the only end-user and non-civilian working in the unicorns office. “They told me to contact the help desk for assistance.”"

Too close to home. Manager does something, IT suffers. @Xavin will feel it too

As someone who used to be DoD IT support... yeah. Definitely hits close to home. So glad I'm not in IT any longer.

Zaila

Every three months, I get to come up with our new password required to bill the VA for burials... Those rules are barely an exaggeration.

Toz

Which is stupid since long-ass nonsense passwords are just as weak to brute force attacks as long-ass passwords you can remember. And dictionary attacks can be beat by including a gibberish word in the chain. So you could do like (#(5891))4)2 and have someone write it down on a notepad because they can't remember it (so I just need to get into their office), orrrr you can let them make a password like EasyPasswordRecogmembered69 and look at that. Way more entropy and way easier to remember. Hell, add leet speak for all vowels and swap the numbers with #$ and you're even more secure. 34syP4ssw0rdR3c0gm3mb3r3d#$

Seir

Toz said:

Which is stupid since long-unicorns nonsense passwords are just as weak to brute force attacks as long-unicorns passwords you can remember. And dictionary attacks can be beat by including a gibberish word in the chain. So you could do like (#(5891))4)2 and have someone write it down on a notepad because they can't remember it (so I just need to get into their office), orrrr you can let them make a password like EasyPasswordRecogmembered69 and look at that. Way more entropy and way easier to remember. Hell, add leet speak for all vowels and swap the numbers with #$ and you're even more secure. 34syP4ssw0rdR3c0gm3mb3r3d#$

As someone who works Cyber, this is very true. Not to mention, the biggest flaw in complicated passwords isn't the password itself. It's the user. I've done penetration testing (giggity) contracts as a side business and some of the easiest ways into a network is checking under the desk of a user, under the keyboard, on the monitor, etc. Often, I'll find the password there on a post it. Like... almost all the time. IT help desks have done this too in my experience, which is fantastic if they have elevated privs.

Xavin

I can't agree with @Seir and @Toz more here.

Erzsebet

The line of business that I'm on at work is ending on 3/25. They have not told us this officially yet, though it was told to us on the DL by the OM on our project and also by multiple supervisors. Nor have they told us what they're going to do with those 70 agents that remain on this line of business. Allegedly we're supposed to be getting a new contract that they should be able to shift us to instead of firing us. However, no one has said anything for certain about that either.

So the only thing we DO know for sure, is that they fired 5 supervisors, an Operations Manager, our only scheduler, several people in HR and 15 agents on Tuesday of last week.

This company is also notorious for not paying unemployment; via lies and falsified documentation if necessary so I'm about 90% sure I can't utilize that to support myself while I find somewhere else to work.

Am getting exceedingly anxious about whether or not I'm going to have a job by the end of the week, or any means whatsoever to support myself to the point where it's impeding my ability to function normally.

I have my rent paid up through April already, and I'm sitting on enough money to pay for May, and I get paid on Thursday, so I should be able to pull another month's rent out from that, and I have enough ramen and-or pasta to last me a month or two, all of which SHOULD give me enough time to find a job if I don't use much electricity and downgrade my internet so it's not immediately dire, but all of these things are not adding up to even slightly less anxiety, and the closer it gets, the more anxiety I have, and the more anxiety I have the less able I am to actually go to work and actually do my job, and the more that happens, the more likely I am to get fired in the first place if it -isn't- already a set in stone conclusion. It's like some kind of horrible anxiety death spiral.

I've been job-hunting since I found out, because it very much feels like the ship is sinking, but I keep having to stop because as I job-hunt, it's hard to ignore the -reason- I'm job-hunting and I keep inducing panic attacks, and the only medication I can get for the anxiety without dropping 400$ I don't have (because my insurance covers exactly 8 doctor visits a year and absolutely nothing else) is clonazepam which doesn't work to lessen the anxiety at all and also gives me 5-day long migraines to boot.

I've been meditating a lot to try to stay calm, and otherwise immersing myself into Aetolia as a diversion tactic, but neither is something that helps enough to be a solution.

Just. So much hate. Tl;dr anxiety fucking sucks.


ETA: On top of all that, I feel -weird-. Like I've got butterflies instead of blood flittering through my veins.

Eydis

My parents have been irresponsible with their financial planning and they could lose the family property. They didn't go through a title company when they bought the land and handed 12k over without researching the tax history. Now they have $2,600 in back taxes they owe. What's worse is that they could've paid the money over the year the state gave them to make it up but they spent their money unwisely instead. My brother, a father of two who relies on the land, spent his $8,000 tax return on renovating the house on the property instead of paying the property taxes, and what he didn't spend on that he spent on random shit. When I asked him what he thinks he's going to do if the property is taken away, he just says, "Oh, we'll figure it out." We have four months until the property is taken away but they can come at any time. This week I've been scrambling to put together a solution. I'm buying the land, drawing up leases, and making the four adults pay affordable rent until the debt is settled. I have so many mads that I have no idea to start so fuck this whole situation.

tl;dr: My parent's bad financial planning + my irresponsible brother == $2,600 that's coming out of my pocket.

Also, it sucks that my work schedule, business planning, and home stuff ensures I have zero free time for Aetolia or any for, you know, sleeping.