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And the weirdness. Otherkin, planetkin, starkin, foodkin (they are inanimate objects for god's sake). The weird ass pronouns people make up (xe/ve/zu are not pronouns) and the genders that exist only in the weird pockets of the internet (nekogender, otrogender, and disporagender are not real things). The bigoted stuff said in the name of 'feminism', calls to kill cishet men (cisgender (normally gendered) heterosexual), that only the non-white opinions have value, that all the problems of the world are from imperialism and colonialism (and that white people are the only ones who have engaged in either).
Most of all, the fact that there are nutters like these giving a bad name to things like feminism, liberalism, and activism. None of these are, by their nature, bad things, but you wouldn't know that from Tumblr. Segments of Tumblr have become bizarro world where activism is bullying, liberalism is PC nonsense, feminism glorifies female supremacy and misandry instead of equality, and where only the opinions of the oddest of the odd are considered.
I don't like it.
the way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
open hand or closed fist would be fine
blood as rare and sweet as cherry wine
There. Quote me to see the tags. Mobile forum posting just makes the entire post flagged literal - can't use html tags anymore, even if I try to edit it from my desktop. Weird.
EDIT: Husband took me to McD's and I ended up falling there too. Hurt my sprained knee and hip, and hit my elbow on the doorframe. Things aren't going well for me.
...but my rage is what happened before my date on Friday night. We had reservations for this really nice restaurant (he wouldn't tell me where just that it was a small step down from his having to wear a suit) so I dressed up in my LBD and heels and basically took extra effort to look as nice and put together as possible. I thought I looked pretty good.
So we're leaving my parent's house (I spent the last few days there to help) and he opens the front door to his car but as I went to get in, the ground gives out beneath my heel. Apparently, a groundhog had created a massive hole that decided to collapse as I stepped down and I sank, all in my finery, up to my knees in the damp ground. At first he thought I tripped until he went 'What happened to your leg?!'.
So we ended up going to the restaurant and my nylons were covered in dirty smoot all up to my knees and it was rage-worthy but hilarious. At least it was worth a laugh and the food was delicious.
Just have to keep telling myself it's only one more year. >.< At least I have a few easy courses coming up (Eng Comp II, Alg I, Alg II) that shouldn't be so taxing.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
English comp though. Urgh. Not hard, just mind-numbingly uuugh.
I had this issue last night some, but I thought maybe it was some weird combination of booze and clothing, so I ditched the clothing and went to sleep. I've been fine all day, and then suddenly, I just can't breathe properly.
Seems to have subsided again, but this is very much not good.
I don't get any full blown(I don't think they are at least) panic attacks, but I get baby ones on occasion, and it's this weird feeling where I feel like I'm breathing in, but I know I'm not, because they're shallow breaths and it's like man wtf is going on.
Just try to relax and de-stress if you can. Idk if drinking does that for you, but it only works sometimes for me. Maybe just some deep-breathing and going over the steps of your plans bit by bit might help. Reassure yourself about what's going on and stuff?
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
I'm used to venturing off into the unknown, with people I've never met before. It's normal, at this point. I'm entirely new to this 'well, I might go here, or I might go across the country over there, or I might just wander around like a vagrant because wtf am I doing'.
Incidentally, my bus to Dallas is tomorrow night. I may be AWOL while I either get settled in at my new job, or move again, 1800 miles away.
...incidentally, I'll be in Dallas from like 1AM to like, 10AM if anyone wants to skip sleep and say hi before I take off to Austin.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
Look outside, @Oleis. Why did you have to jinx it!
Just wish they were more helpful.
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
"The smell of dusty fur, sweet smoke, waiting and patience, a thing that time cannot kill. The moth that candles won't burn."
I feel you, @Stathan - auditory hallucinations when I'm tired. Not bad, but still rough. I sleep with music on now.
I do appreciate the support though. You guys rock for that.
.hug @Stathan
This is the cubical across from mine. This is a recent change - maybe a few weeks.
Yah. It's that bad.
I'm also going to mention that these illnesses aren't always created by 'issues'. There is a couple of schools of thought that goes around, one that of them and a dangerous one is all mental health issues stem from trauma.So Psychologists will try to dig deep and find something they can point the finger at and say "AHA THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DIFFERENT". I hate this because it externalizes blame.
Sometimes people are just born different. They could start showing signs straight away or there might be something that happens to them that triggers a change in brain chemistry. I get frustrated at people who put a huge stigma on mental illness because one it comes down to it it's just another type of chemical imbalance like diabetes, or hypoglycemia and no one has every told a diabetic to just think unsugary thoughts and it'll all be better.
My recommendation : If your seeing a psychologist, go to a psychiatrist. Be honest with them and tell them issues are getting worse. If your not comfortable with them look into other doctors. If your on medication more stress can be a side affect to some of them and you might have to swap. In the end its you who is in control of your treatment, the doctors are only there to guide you.
If you every need anyone to talk to late at night, hit me up for my Skype name. One of the things that kept me alive during highschool was a friend that would field calls at 1am - 2am in the morning and just listen. I'm happy to listen to you if you would like.
Politics
i am rapture coder
There are things that I'm livid about with these new schedules..
The first, I'd like to explain. Our gas station is right off the interstate, so we get a lot of lotto traffic in from out of state where it's illegal. People want to throw their money away, okay. We have one person that comes in on Saturdays with a giant order from tons of people in that area. I'm talking stacks of envelopes that fill up a good sized box - not a shoe box, either. It's about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of straight lotto. We have to have an extra person scheduled for this because Saturdays are busy and so this one person gets to take care of our main lotto guy. He's been doing this for years, never misses a Saturday. He also tips 15$ for the work. Or more if it's a big, big order. You also don't have to deal with the -other- customers and he's generally pretty entertaining. It's a nice break.
I've been working Saturdays for two months straight now, with one off out of those two months. That I requested off. I've still not been scheduled to run him yet. Everyone else? They've gotten their turn and some much more than that, but I'm continuously overlooked. That pisses me off. Not only are you going to work me every Saturday, turn my request for 'swapping a Saturday out for a Monday shift every now and then' into 'work both days', you're going to screw me out of 15$ and let everyone else participate?
That's the first thing. It's been accumulating over time.. The second thing is. For next week I'm only scheduled 20 hours. I have the least amount of hours out of everyone else who works. The week after? 22 hours.
I have four days off each week. Work me like a horse, and then fuck me over? No. That's not going to fly.
-- For me, that's a HUGE pay cut. It means I'm earning 158$.. before taxes are taken out. That's barely anything.
Ugh.