Mildly Irritating: Aetolia's Pet Peeves

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  • i don't get esteemed enough
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    Alela's Affirmations
    Fyrren
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    edited April 19
    Just had to block someone on discord because of this kind of interaction. STOP THIS NOW.
    This is a roleplay game, and honestly playing into people IRL lives over RP and things characters do is ridiculous and immature.


    KurakBulrokAlelaTetchtaIazamatGalileiRihrin
  • SuhStomping is actin' a little SUHS
    Copperhead of the Third Spoke says to you, "Intelligence matrix in moniker Bulrok reveals above average results when compared alongside proximal presence."
    NipsyIazamatHolbrookAlelaGalileiKurakRihrinTetchtaZeheia
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent


    NipsyIazamatKurakAlelaRihrin
  • edited April 19
    Nipsy said:

    Just had to block someone on discord because of this kind of interaction. STOP THIS NOW.


    I think part of the problem with this type of behavior is that you are treating the game like an IRL chatroom and not like an rp game. There needs to be a layer of separation. I feel like this mindset has gotten more prevalent the last couple years across IREs that I play.
    IazamatNipsyRihrinTetchtaXeniaTeani
  • edited April 19
    Hmm, looks like they were able to do this because you share the Sunder discord with them. I'll look into changing some server settings so harassment like this is less possible.


    EDIT: Until I find a proper way to account for this (unsure Discord has this capability server-wide yet), anybody not interested in this can select their privacy settings for the server and uncheck this box:


    AlelaIazamatNipsyTetchta
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    I then recieved this follow up, and while when being blocked on discord for OOC referencing, then immediately going to game and providing something like this:

    Message 1346
    Sent By: Wjoltyr on 19 Apr 2022, 09:44

    // OOC: As per your March 26th post on the Forums, you claim to be receptive to OOC feedback as to you, as a player. This is my feedback, since you didn't want to hear it on Discord. Whatever transpired with Zethrie is precisely the opposite of what Shadow needs to actually be competitive. Regardless of what the Roleplay Reasons (tm) for branding her an enemy of Bloodloch were, the way that it all went down and her lack of receiving an explanation has her not only lost any interest in pursuing combat, but that is further amplified that she has very few options but to go to Spirit now. Down a developing combatant, and giving them to the "enemy". If you and yours want to mold Bloodloch into this ultra-tough badass place Mhaldor-wannabe, that's your perogative. Driving away *players* based on, as far as I can discern, is a misunderstanding, is a surefire way to have every single event going forward go like the Spears event where nobody wants to participate. Disinterest breeds disinterest. That's my 2 cents. Take it, leave it, I don't really care. I'm hardly an expert in leadership, but as I've learned in my time, it doesn't take an expert to see when something is jacked up. Consider just how you want the leadership of Bloodloch to look. If you like what you currently see, disregard everything I've said. No hurt feelings. Cheers.


    At the end of the day, here's what one can take away from this.

    -Being receptive to feedback, is different from being involved in metagaming drama.
    -Characters have roles, my role is well enough known and my characters behaviors are well enough known, in fact Bloodloch has laws that Thronekeepers can and will kill citizens.
    -This is way too META for my liking, feedback one thing, asking for information on OOC drama is another.

    Again, DONT DO THIS.

    I do not think you need to be issued for this despite encouragement, but take it for what it is, an opportunity to change and be better.
    IazamatTetchtaTeani
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    Idk if we're allowed to post who the characters are or if that pushes against the rules. But it's been figured out and I'mma say this: this is not appropriate. This is not "feedback." This is, at best, an inappropriate attempt to glean IC information through OOC means, shows poor separation, and is overall just not the kind of behavior our community, one that wants to be a safe and encouraging place for roleplay and overall play, wants. At worst this is a blatant attempt at metagaming and borderline harassment of someone OOC.

    IazamatNipsy
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    For the frequency that this happens, at this point. Names get named.
    If I am asked to not post names by the administration I will obviously respect it, but enough OOC messages like this, and you get over it.
    IazamatTetchta
  • If you need to get both sides of the story, do so IC. If you have no reason to do so IC, walk away and let IC RP play out without attempting to influence it in such a transparent way.
    NipsyTetchtaTeaniAeryx
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    edited April 19
    This is a side tangent but related, when people ask you for OOC information and you say something like "find out IC" they say something to the effect of "but I don't wanna know IC, I wanna know OOC." Like tough shit, then? Then, uh, get used to disappointment? Don't try and guilt people into giving you information they don't wanna give you by doing some sort of weird negotiation after being told no.

    NipsyIazamatLinBulrok
  • This is a reminder to everyone in the game: if you think PK rules have been broken, ISSUE. You can always ISSUE ME if you just want a clarification, but it's time to pull on your big kid pants and start cashing checks that your mouths are writing if you're going to insinuate, especially IC, that rules are being broken.
    TetchtaNipsyAeryx
  • Sometimes it doesn't feel like all aspects of the game are being run/handled/dealt with In-Game/In-Character. I think there's probably some amount of OOC handling of stuff that's fine (Org Requests, combate stuff, general things that are hard to frame in IC ways), but it feels like there's also a fair amount of things that really should be handled in-game that just aren't.
    NipsyIazamatBulrok
  • Against my better judgment, I'm going to respond to Nipsy. Please forgive any jacked-up forum formatting weirdness.

    > @Nipsy said:
    > IC/OOC seperation is a HUGE issue in some players and perhaps in this community as a whole, it is something that has demotivated me at times, and nearly force me to quit playing, if it wasn't for the good people out there being thoughtful and talking me down. With the amount of bandwagoning and just... lacking RP for stuff that could have very well been handled in game, its astounding. I have dealt with this recently, and some very good players, even some of them having been people I have disagreed with in the past, have looked beyond the past, have talked to me politely OOC, and been civil adults about things, which I have appreciated, it is the mature and responsible thing to do.
    >
    > Being a character which often toes the line against the sensitivities of others, it is my responsibility as a player to be receptive to output provided, to be mature, and to consider how to better myself as a player. I always will welcome feedback maturely, I recently did so because I thought I might have been a source of upset folks, and was reassured that there are much larger over-arching issues, and that in the least my willingness to discuss was appreciated.
    >
    > Some folks, just cant grasp that though, some folks treat the forums/discord, and the ignore function as a tool to just be assholes, instead of have IC interaction. Then bring problems to the forums to forum RP or discord to talk about players behind the characters.
    >
    > Now I will preface this that on other characters, I have done things I am not proud of, said things that I am not proud of, and even furthermore, the root of this all, I have learned from my mistakes for ways I have interacted.
    >
    > But a lot of folks, don't, and frankly it is sad. If you choose to ignore someone or refuse IC interaction, you don't get to be on the OOC shit-slinging parade as well.
    >
    > tl;dr Don't be a Karen

    I try and make it a point to get both sides of the story before offering feedback/judgment/whatever because to truly understand something you need to have all sides of the story. When Nipsy stated he did not have interest in discussing IC things OOCly, I believe I respected that boundary in my subsequent message to him. Whether it was appropriate to message him in the first place is an entirely different question. I do not feel that I am wrong in my assumption that it was appropriate given that *he stated in a public forum* that he was allegedly open to OOC feedback on his character. Again, I feel like I respected his stated boundaries while attempting to engage in good faith dialogue. In hindsight, it was foolish to think that. It's equally foolish to think that my own boundaries would be respected or considered when they never have been in the past.

    I also can't help but feel that Nipsy's above-quoted post just oozes with hypocrisy. Why not just jump straight to the "OOC shit-slinging parade" when you refuse interaction you invited? Why not contribute to the bandwagoning? It's the same group of people doing the same things without consequences and I feel that all avenues for recourse have been exhausted and I'm tired of it. If you are open to mature feedback, there you have it.

    It's fine, though. Rather, it isn't fine, but it doesn't matter. I'm done. This was the final straw in a series of issues that have slowly been simmering for months and abruptly exploded violently over the course of a few days. I do not feel that Aetolia is a space welcoming of the diversity I represent, and I'd honestly rather go volunteer my time and money within my local community instead of spending either here for now.

    With that, I reject the notion that the blame here lies entirely with me. I also won't pretend to be blameless in this situation, either. So:

    Nipsy, I am sorry if you felt my approach was inappropriate and violated your boundaries, and I'm sorry if you felt your only recourse was to jump straight to the forums and 'name names'. Truly, know that I wish I had communicated my intentions better as well as understood your expectations better so this could have gone much differently and lead to a more positive gaming experience for everyone.

    Be awesome to one another. Peace, love, joy, and...

    https://tenor.com/view/boyle-charles-brooklyn99-buckets-yippy-gif-16569891

    Wjoltyr out.
    IazamatTetchtaNipsyAlelaKurakLinKanivaraSryaen
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine


    IazamatFyrren
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    The only really positive thing I can say here is that it is not a bad thing to decide that this game isn't for you and to move on to places that scratch the specific itch you're looking for and don't cause mental distress in the process.

    IazamatLinKurakNipsyGalileiProcyonMati
  • All I can say is if one avenue of OOC discussion has been closed (like being blocked on Discord) it's usually an indication that there's not an interest to communicate at all. This should be a boundary that's respected rather than circumvented. Especially through the game. Regardless of whether someone indicated interest in receiving input in the past, if actions have been taken to create boundaries between you and that person, that's a clear road sign that communication is inappropriate.

    I really dislike when people don't respect boundaries and double down by defending themselves.

    TetchtaIazamatLinKurakNipsyTeaniGalilei
  • edited April 20
    @Wjoltyr I think you should do what is best for your mental health. And if you believe stepping away is what you need then do it. After reading these DMs and MSGS, I do not think you are being entirely honest with yourself. You were not looking for Nipsy's side of the story to have an ooc opinion, which I still believe is inappropriate. You were very clearly trying to inject your ooc opinion and sway a purely ic interaction. You say you wanted his side before you cast judgement but then on your subsequent msg to him said :

    Whatever transpired with Zethrie is precisely the opposite of what Shadow needs to actually be competitive. Regardless of what the Roleplay Reasons (tm) for branding her an enemy of Bloodloch.

    These are not the words of someone acting in good faith to have an ooc understanding of a situation which really needs to stop anyways. If you want involved in some juicy drama FOIG. Separation is very important if we want good and healthy drama in our rp game.
    IazamatTetchtaNipsyXeniaGalilei
  • edited April 20
    It's the same group of people doing the same things without consequences and I feel that all avenues for recourse have been exhausted and I'm tired of it. If you are open to mature feedback, there you have it.

    It's fine, though. Rather, it isn't fine, but it doesn't matter. I'm done. This was the final straw in a series of issues that have slowly been simmering for months and abruptly exploded violently over the course of a few days. I do not feel that Aetolia is a space welcoming of the diversity I represent, and I'd honestly rather go volunteer my time and money within my local community instead of spending either here for now.

    The constant finger pointing to avoid accountability is exhausting. It's an ongoing problem in Aetolia and so many of you would have much better play experiences if you finally realized that people are reacting to your RP and not you as players, and that your RP (or lack thereof!) is usually the catalyst for the consequences you suffer, not a result of others being bullies bent on driving people out of the game.

    As for this diversity you represent, I rather resent that remark because you don't represent anyone but yourself - and no one has certainly asked you to represent anything more than yourself. Aetolia is incredibly diverse if you actually get to know people, but pretending to speak for them is entirely presumptuous and off-base.
    KurakTetchtaNipsyGalileiAeryx
  • Okay... I never comment here, because my opinion of game forums universally is that they're near-always a cesspool of drama and BS and thus avoid them... but after reading Wjoltyr's post I felt compelled to chime in.
    Wjoltyr said:

    I try and make it a point to get both sides of the story before offering feedback/judgment/whatever because to truly understand something you need to have all sides of the story.

    Is that why you circulated a hamfisted petition around Spines that the Senate didn't know about to use Spirean laws to punish Tetchta and make your individual problems into the game's problem before you asked anyone anything about the Carnifex's Unwanted Kid thing? Baldfaced, blatant LIE right here, in writing.

    You're not getting bandwagoned, you're just getting the well-deserved consequences of your poorly-thought actions. You say that Nipsy's post smacks of hypocrisy? My dude, your actual actions are blatant displays of hypocrisy. Nobody is persecuting you, you just bleeped around and found out.

    For your sake though, I'm glad you're taking the opportunity to get away from things that bother you. Out of all the decisions you've made in the last 24hrs, that's the healthiest and most mature.

    As for diversity? My dude, I personally am a disabled bigender asexual biromantic Indigenous individual with PTSD and a host of other psychiatric crap. I have six adjectives that represent a good bit of diversity, and frankly? I only represent -myself-, not the LGBTQ community, not the BIPOC community, nothing else but me. At least four others in this thread have similar adjectives of diversity!

    Furthermore, what's wrong with my body and brain is a Me Problem, and when I unintentionally make it into an Other People's Problem (which has happened) that is a Bad Choice and I am responsible for the consequences of it. Yeah, it sucks sometimes and yeah, I feel persecuted sometimes because rejection-sensitive dysphoria is a bleep of a thing... but ultimately? I'm not persecuted, and nobody's actually out to get me.

    It might be worth it to speak with a professional about how you feel so that you can better build your toolkit for when things happen that twig you. I'm not perfect, but I can certainly say that I am better as a result of getting such aid.
    Nipsy
  • LinLin Blackbird The Moonglade
    For the record, the only attack on diversity I've seen that involved Wjoltyr was when he was asking us in the official Discord not to use the word "gay", as it was a slur.

    Multiple gay people asked him what the hell he was talking about.
    NipsyTetchtaIazamatAlela
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    Lin said:

    For the record, the only attack on diversity I've seen that involved Wjoltyr was when he was asking us in the official Discord not to use the word "gay", as it was a slur.

    Multiple gay people asked him what the hell he was talking about.

    As an gay, I approve of this.
    Lin
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    There's an over index number of queer, neurodivergent, trans, and otherwise marginalized people who play Aetolia. It's an extremely gay and "remember to take your meds today!" game.

    If that weren't replying to something directly, I'd put it in the LOVE thread because it's one of the things I love most about this game.

    NipsyIazamatRenliProcyonLinIesidZeheia
  • Tetchta said:

    It's an extremely gay and "remember to take your meds today!" game.

    Crying laughing. This is the most accurate thing I've ever read about this game. Well done, wordsmith.
  • Do. Not. Put. Yourself. In. A. Position. To. Get. PK'd. If. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Get. PK'd.
    Copperhead of the Third Spoke says to you, "Intelligence matrix in moniker Bulrok reveals above average results when compared alongside proximal presence."
    IazamatTetchtaNipsyRihrin
  • Instructions unclear, got PKed.
    TetchtaLinKurakNipsyZeheiaProcyonAeryx
  • If you log on you're in PKing distance tho

    TetchtaNipsy
  • If you walk into my room looking ugly, I'm going to PK you.
    GalileiNipsyXeniaZeheiaMatiCallidora
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    This is why Elene has never PK'd me.

    IesidNipsyEleneZeheia
  • o that's why I die
    ZeheiaLinSeurimas
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