MAD 2: MADDEN'S MADDENING.

Axius

not a mad, more a sad.

I want to leave an apology for everyone who RPs with me, or interacts with me. If I seem cold, distant, or otherwise maybe not myself ICly, it's because I've lost a furry family member IRL yesterday afternoon. We're deliberating how we're going to handle her corpse, which is resting on our back porch, where it's out of reach of anything that shouldn't be messing with it. But the emotional toll and mental toll has me running on baseline things..and I'm reaching to my own escapist habits of old. Which is Aetolia and my MUDs.


Rest In Piece, Pepper Ann "Be quiet!" Dees. May you find yourself settling in front of a warm hearth, dreaming of chasing bunnies and getting headpats and butt-scritches wherever you are. You served dutifully as a guard dog, and you've earned your rest from the pains and aches of old age.

Arbre

Immunosuppressants. Yes, yes, you're probably saving my life, but bronchitis from hell is not a fun way to spend the weekend.

Aishia

Ok that's it, get the shrink ray and the sci fi mini ship. I'm going into @Arbre's bloodstream. I got work to do.

Rhyot

When you go in for an annual eye exam.... and then the dr decides he wants to dilate your damn eyes....

Welp... there goes my entire work day!!

Sarita

Apparently a dusting of snow has started to mean that no one remembers how to drive. I went to the grocery store a bit ago, and people were driving 20 mph under the speed limit even though every had turned to rain and there was absolutely no snow or ice anything.

Oh, and coincidentally, these drivers have a habit of forgetting that headlights exist.

Tekias

Sarita said:

Apparently a dusting of snow has started to mean that no one remembers how to drive. I went to the grocery store a bit ago, and people were driving 20 mph under the speed limit even though every had turned to rain and there was absolutely no snow or ice anything.

Oh, and coincidentally, these drivers have a habit of forgetting that headlights exist.

Annoying, but I think I'd prefer 20mph under than 10 over. Neighbor's kid flipped their SUV, and (unrelated) a Semi creamed a cop SUV about 4 blocks away from here.

Edit: Didn't see the 'dusting of snow' part. Yeah, we're mid-blizzard here, and people are driving like I just described.

Sarita

Yeah, that would shut down the world for at least a week around here. It's barely even worth trying to drive if we can avoid it when that happens.

Tekias

Looking at 12+ inches by tomorrow night. And no one can fucking drive around here despite blizzards, plural, being a yearly occurance.

Arbre

It was 81 degrees Fahrenheit today. Just sayin'.

Kalinaar

You all suck. It's been between -5 and -20 for almost two weeks.

Sarita

When people say something along the lines of "I've been thinking of retiring this character, but maybe I won't if x hapens," to try and get something IC.

Rhyot

Jusst tell them to retire then. That tends to stop the conversation in its tracks and lets you go on about your day without needing to feel guilty about someone quitting who obviously wants to quit anyway.

Zaila

Anytime someone tries to leverage retirement, I just throw them on ignore: I don't tolerate metagame-bullying attempts.

Rhyot

Here's a maddening....

This is the second time in a fucking year that I've had my credit card information stolen. So now.... I'm waiting a fucking new credit card which won't arrive until fucking friday!!! Kinda ruined my plans with the wife for valentine's day. Also have to go through the fucking trouble of redoing all my autopayment bills with the new card when it comes in.... So fucking frustrating.

On the bright side, my wife understands so we're doing a belated valentine's day dinner on saturday.

Eydis

The first day of lent and I’m already craving a steak lol. #catholicproblems 

Sarita

I'm mad at myself. Stop reading now if you don't like hearing about body fluids.

I went to donate blood for the first time, and thought that I did everything right to prepare - drinking all the water, eating salty food before, etc. It even started out fine. The needle went in, and the blood started coming out like it was supposed to. Then it just stopped. The person tried adjusting it a bit, moving it around in my vein, and things like that. She explained that while they'd gotten some while it was going, the bag wasn't quite full enough to be used for anyone, and I wanted at least that much, so I said she could keep wiggling it to try and get there. This is where she warned me that I could get some nasty bruises, but I decided I wanted to suck it up and keep trying. So we kept going, and it kept not doing much good. Someone else came over to try, and it still wasn't getting there. Eventually they stopped and said they might be able to give it to some researchers.

So here's why I'm mad at myself. They were VERY right about the amount of bruising that I could expect afterwards. My entire inner elbow area ended up with stuff about as big around as a golf ball. Even with ice and stuff, it actually hurts to move it around much or to try and bend it to do things like use a keyboard or wash my hands. Stupid me.

Tiur

Trying to help people wasn't stupid! Good on you

Sarita

I'm really not mad that I tried to do it. It's really more that I didn't want to listen to people who have a lot more experience than I do.

Oonagh

So...bear with me while I just kinda vent.

I manage 7 buildings in a 500 unit, mixed-use property in downtown of my City, I have a mixture of market rate, section 42, section 8 and transitional housing I am responsible for and I am essentially a glorified case-worker alongside the varied stresses of the job. The end of last year was the finalizing of having a full time staff of 7 office people who had worked, slowly but surely my employees found promotions, found new places to go, and at the pinnacle of this month I found myself in the office alone. Alone with the CEO of the company serving as my direct superior and having to maintain state-compliance paperwork in an audit that involved every file/certification/lease/documentation I had in the building which ultimately culminated in a slew of panic attacks and my distancing myself from social interaction. I have been averaging 25-40 hours of overtime a pay period, so the money has been decent obviously, but I am just absolutely drained....like, I suppose that is an understatement.

---

This is a mad because im just pooped, but not because of the results that have come about from it, im mad because its acceptable to feel so horrible about myself right now and I am mad because I am back in a depression and devaluing my self worth, I am mad because the cues in society are that we just have to suck it up and smile hoping that our duty to serve for money is enough to drive us through the anxiety and stress we endure.

---

I am not mad because I met with the CEO today and she lauded me for my work ethic and loyalty, I am not mad because I was afforded a significant raise and new opportunities because I sucked it up and was the good little worker bee I am supposed to be. I am not mad because I followed through on my audit and managed to get through it ALONE with stellar reviews.

---

I AM MAD, because...I can't shake the feeling of impending doom I get from not sleeping and eating properly, and I did this to myself purely to prove my worth as an employee, and sacrificed my worth as a human and my own health.

Rhyot

Depression can be a hell of a thing. I suffer through it every day of the week, and have for the past 15 years. So the only advice I can offer is from my own meandering experience...

1) Take everything day by day. Take everything couple hours at a time. Theres nothing that important in this world that we need to plan out for that we havent already thought about at some point. Getting caught up in the bounty of nuances of daily life only serves to make the depression worse.

2) Tell yourself every hour or so that you have value. Set a reminder on your phone. Reach out to a loved one. These little things add up and the people around you will be able to help pick you up. Its amazing how the words "I love you" or "I appreciate you" can affect us so wholly. 

3) Eat anyway. Find a healthy meal you love and make it. A home cooked meal. Its been proven that home cooked meals actually help increase the feel good chemicals in the brain because of a subconscious sense of accomplishment... Even more so if the food turned out amazing.

4) Meditate. Before you go to bed every night, just meditate for an hour. Let the stresses of the day fade away and seep out of your skin and psyche. Itll be difficult at first, but it will help you sleep as well. Sleep is important. 


Take my advice for whatever you feel its worth. Its helped me alot over the past 15 years. It might help you. If you ever want to talk, im always willing to listen.. Just hit me up in the game. And no matter what... Understand that you do in fact have lots of worth to many people around you. 

I hope things start to look up for you Oonagh. Take care of yourself.

Eydis

Two months ago my Dad had a stroke, the same night of a break up. Since then my Dad got an infection from his diabetes pump and while he’s getting better it’s been an unfun adventure. This is all while prepping for the LSAT for a second time, which I am taking on Saturday. The test will determine which law school I get into, what financial aid is waiting for me etc. So, like, no pressure. Lol. No rlly tho, I am beyond ready to move on from this rollercoaster lol. 

Sklax

I got laid off without any sort of warning or prompt. Was told in a text message by a lower level boss. No explanation as to why. I sweated my **** off doing anything and everything I was ordered to do. Several other people were let go under the same, unusual circumstances as me. Owner of the company also withheld money from.....a lot of us, under some really, really dodgy reasons, claiming that we were stealing and breaking equipment, which is all false since our sites are under security optics at all times. A lot of us have banded together now and are going out of our ways to discredit a company that we thought was family. It's a lot of drama, and now I'm out of work. Out of a job that I really liked because it kept me from having to deal with any sort of customers.

My skill sets are extremely specialized, and I have a strong disgust towards anything that involves handling customers/civilians directly. Getting laid off without warning just ***** me over hardcore, as it takes TIME for me to locate a job that I can actually nest within.

Sarita

Instead of trying to discredit the company, you might want to go together to a labor board or something like it if you can. Where I live, that breaks several laws, and that board will investigate it, and has a lot of legal ways to get the money back.

Rhyot

When youre driving through the neighborhood and a child bolts out from the front of a parked car on the curb while you're coming around the corner, thus forcing you to slam on the brakes less you hit the stupid little bastard.

If you're gonna start acting like a suicidal squirrel, ill treat you like one and hit you. 

Annoying little bastards. Thankfully my brakes were on point. 

Aloli

I wish there was a gasping button.

Vyxsis

Rhyot said:

When youre driving through the neighborhood and a child bolts out from the front of a parked car on the curb while you're coming around the corner, thus forcing you to slam on the brakes less you hit the stupid little bastard.

If you're gonna start acting like a suicidal squirrel, ill treat you like one and hit you. 

Annoying little bastards. Thankfully my brakes were on point. 

Rhyot, the forums are OOC

Illikaal

Rhyot said:

When youre driving through the neighborhood and a child bolts out from the front of a parked car on the curb while you're coming around the corner, thus forcing you to slam on the brakes less you hit the stupid little bastard.

If you're gonna start acting like a suicidal squirrel, ill treat you like one and hit you. 

Annoying little bastards. Thankfully my brakes were on point. 

I think you need professional help.

Haven

Some people just need to vent. I wouldn't take the rage thread or even the internet too seriously.

#Don'tBeAWasp
#HoneyGang

Axius

Latest episode of Shield Hero anime:

This motherunicorns. THIS ROYALLY JERKISH unicorns. I may hate the king and his eldest daughter.. but I don't physically wish them death. Just gratuitous amounts of harm. BUT THIS MOTHER unicorns OVER HERE. THIS GUY GETS ME ROILING AND BOILING AND NUCLEAR OPTION ANGRY.


#Weebrage
#angryatananime
#Shieldheroftw

(Edit: Apparently a child born fatherless/out of wedlock isn't a filtered word. Go figure. Nor is a father apparently)

Church

Axius said:

Apparently a child born fatherless/out of wedlock isn't a filtered word. Go figure. Nor is a father apparently

Aetolia just has such a complicated history with fatherhood that even the forums aren't sure how to parse the concept.