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I lost a childhood friend to suicide this past month. He was like a kid brother growing up, always happy, always goofy, just all around a good kid. Over the years, our lives grew out of touch and I had no idea he was struggling with depression. So when I saw an invite to his funeral expense fundraiser from his older brother on Facebook, I was confused and upset and all around just in a sh*tty mood. I'm an emotional, empathetic person that can't help but feel for every individual that is dealing with personal pain. Even now as I'm writing this I'm emotional. This will be the second person I've lost to a battle with depression. I hope it will be the last, but I can only be optimistic. Please take time for your mental health. Thank you.
(PS thank u to Iames for prodding me on messenger every week or so to see where I've gone. I appreciated that.)
(Illuminai): Saltz says, "Moxie is just doing the Moxie thing to do, often misinterpreted."
(Tells): Sir Iames Gallant, the Executioner tells you, "The one Illuminai beyond prayer, I swear."
Valingar: "How could a daughter of me, the most noble man in the south, be so heartless?"
(Tells): Haven Locke, Illuminai Khimaira tells you, "Be that as it may, I've also seen the strength in you. You can take care of yourself."
Fucking hate migraines.
I remember as a kid seeing my father sit with a bandana wrapped around his head, tied at the side with a spoon through the knot. He'd use the spoon as a lever to turn it and tighten the bandana around his head for more pressure...it looked scary to a kid but growing up and having tried it...there's some temporary magic in it but not like the way a nap cures a migraine.
I hope you feel better soon.
So, I found out on Friday that a friend of mine from high school committed suicide. He had been having issues with addiction for awhile. He was a brilliant, passionate, and strong willed person. He had a rare sense of integrity and usually stood up for the underdog regardless of his feelings toward them. He could get an entire bus of people laughing and turn bad situations into exciting adventures. He was an intelligent and talented artist with his whole life ahead of him. I can't think of a single person who won't miss Todd. My sister, Dad, and brother are all recovering addicts and fuck addiction, man.
If there's anyone else struggling with it:
-You matter.
-Of course you're loved, you moron. Lol (You're loved. You will absolutely be missed, probably even by people like your mailman.)
-You are not the summation of your mistakes. You DO have the potential to beat this. You are NOT a hopeless cause. If your friends disagree, get new friends.
-You'll make more mistakes and that's okay. Forgive yourself when you mess up because you've committed to becoming healthier. The opinion of everyone else doesn't decide your worth. It's a path. Make the decision everyday to walk it.
-You're loved.
-You matter.
-You're loved.
💜
(Spinesreach): Xiuhcoatl says, "Oh man, grab the children-corn. This is gonna be good."
Valkyrior system
-I’m angry that someone can do this much damage to another person and then wash their hands of the consequences.
-I’m angry that I was left on the road like a person without worth.
-I’m angry that now my body is altered because of his moronic choices.
-I’m angry at the pain this has caused my family. I’m angry that someone else’s choices led to a 3 way call during the first 48 when I was a bleed risk. I was planning a funeral at 29 and seeing how hurt my family was. I’m angry his choices almost decided my future, or lack thereof.
-I’m angry my team of medical professionals are inept and I have to make it my full time job to stand over them, ensuring I get the help I need.
I have a lot of feels lol.
(Spinesreach): Xiuhcoatl says, "Oh man, grab the children-corn. This is gonna be good."
I am mad I did not catch on to this sooner. I should have realized it on the fourth week of not even wanting to get out of bed, despite sleeping until nearPM.
Reach out if you need one of them.
Some background: I am a teacher and I am licensed to teach English and Geography from ages 9-18, with a focus on the latter years (16-18). The school I was at last year had to let me go because they lost some students due to politics, and we were all sad that happened because it was an amazing school.
Full rant:
The main problem with the new school was that it lacked organization. The principal who hired me quit before I even had a chance to start working there, and left the place in disarray. They had three major schedule shifts before the middle of October, leaving the students frustrated, stressed out and confused. A few other teachers left along with the principal (whether this was due to solidarity or being stressed out from the problems that arose from the announcement that the principal would leave, I don't know). The remaining teachers had a hard time trying to puzzle things together, calm the students, pick up extra lessons here and there until teachers could be replaced, all while trying to be normal teachers.
Because of all this, organization was sort of lacking, and I had little help with transitioning in and learning about what kind of assistance some of my students were entitled to, or required, meaning I had to try to puzzle that out on my own. Students tried to take advantage of this (at least one student saying that a previous teacher had promised her that she wouldn't have to speak English to pass the English course, which is complete bullshit), but I tried to navigate as best as I could. I became hated and harassed by some of the students because I wouldn't hand out grades that were wanted, or because I told people what was actually expected of them (other students loved me, though. Mostly those who actually wanted to learn something).
More teachers decided to leave the place, and by the Christmas break, a grand total of 14 people had left the school just that semester! I was asked if I had one foot out the door, but I said I felt bad for the students, so I wouldn't leave them hanging. I'd see things through at least until the school year was out, if not more if things turned around properly.
Enter year 2020:
The first week in school, we had a new permanent principal (one of the temporary becoming his assistant; the other temp quit). This is also the week my maternal grandmother suffered a major stroke and fell into a coma she wouldn't wake up from. We had a full contingent of teachers from quick recruiting, and I found myself in charge of my subject. The students were in more disarray than before, showing less and less respect in the classrooms, something that was brought up at every meeting and many of us voiced concerns because the student groups were too large to handle.
The second week, my grandmother passed away, but my students showed a lot of understanding, and I had some great support from both them and my colleagues. I had a few arguments with some students, who complained to the new principal about me . I mean, how dare I be frustrated with them if they come between 20-40 minutes late to class (every day)?!
Third week saw some more arguments with the same students. Seriously, how dare I get upset with them when they show up 25 minutes late to a test, stomping into the classroom and disturbing everyone else, demanding that they put their phones away and remain quiet, then sending them out when they continue to make a fuss and disrupt the concentration of everyone else in the room?!! Can't I understand that they are TIRED?!
In the fourth week, the student groups shifted, and the students who had harassed me during the fall semester returned from work practice, and I tried my very best to be civil, despite hearing them talk shit behind my back. At a staff meeting, one of the other teachers even said straight out that they heard students saying "we need to get her out of here", and of course referred to me. That Thursday I was supposed to have staff appraisal with the principal, where we would be discussing my situation, how I can help the school, and how they can help me. From all the others, I had heard they got questions to that effect at least, so I prepared a little, where I would bring up the stuff I had done so far to help make things more organized, and to mention the student harassment as well as classroom situations that I knew everyone else had brought up.
Instead, my employment was terminated. Right then and there. By an employer who has only seen me through 3 weeks of grief. Ignoring the many things I had done so far to help make the place more organized. "It seems like you don't like things here, and you are frustrated, so I think it is better for you if you find a job somewhere else." A place that lost 14 employees in the last 5 months is terminating a person who wants to remain to see things through properly. No one quite understood his logic, not even my colleagues.
Short version:
My new school had 3 major shifts in schedule before October was out, and had 14 people leave it before the Christmas break. Yet, in January my employment was terminated by a new boss, who had only seen me at my worst. He started working the same week my maternal grandmother had a massive stroke and went into a coma. She passed away a week later, and it is safe to say I was not my usual self for that week, or immediately after her death. He ignored the facts that I had been harassed by students and still wanted to remain for the benefit of other students, who needed stability. He focused on my frustrations regarding classroom situations and the lack of organization. These were things that we were hard at work with at every meeting, and things I had worked hard at fixing since my first day there in October. Additionally, I was not the only one expressing frustration over these things.
"Brutally efficient and utterly free of the pathetic weaknesses of nature and light, ...."
but the CT looks like this ...
(Bloodloch): ************* says, "Yippee!"
I have no idea what's going on at all
edit: reacts off topic to a post in an OOC forum. Hilarious. Sorry to ruin your immersion talking about people's OOC lives.
I wasn't the one who flagged it, but I expect it was flagged because this is the non-game-related irritations and frustrations thread, whereas your post was about a game-related irritation/frustration, which we have a separate thread for! In case it's helpful, I tossed the link to it here for you!
https://forums.aetolia.com/discussion/2334/mildly-irritating-aetolias-pet-peeves#latest
Gets crucified.
Yeah lol sounds about right.
Edit: For the record, it takes all kinds to make a fascinating and compelling living world. Feel free to ignore those characters that don't fit your idea of the setting, but they're no less valid than the ultra-serious types. We're not all cut from the same cloth IRL, even when we share the same stances.
Experience Gained: 47720 (Special) [total: 2933660]
Needed for LVL: 122.00775356245
Rage thread bad.
Also, relax! Text does not always convey a message's intention well. It's much worse when you're limited to a very small set of reaction emotes, too. We don't have any tags that express anything really negative, because here's not the place for it.
Sorry to be off topic in your thread here. Have a great day
If that's considered rage then light me up baby I'm on fire.