I feel that I'm shutting myself in more and more, isolating myself again because every attempt I've made to reach out to people from before I went into my last depression have failed completely. I've had zero calls from anyone outside family in the two months, despite having tried to interact, invite people in.
I make an attempt to actually socialize and speak to people in the game for the first time in a long time and I feel like I'm intruding, like I have to push for anyone to actually respond. Former friends slipping away, almost as if they've moved on or don't give a damn anymore. SO... I flip out, then get even more sad cause I've managed to push even more people away. Great.
Sorry. I'm just feeling really bad and terribly lonely right now.
I hate that there's a blood moon happening on my birthday and I have no one to share it with. I'm incredibly lonely and spent the first few hours of my birthday listening to my mother tell me everything that's wrong with me, as if I wasn't already abundantly aware.
I just wish I could spend time with someone who would give a shit whether I live or die, at this point.
Going from slow, easy going days to busy, non-stop, omg-make-it-stop kind of days at work. We're so extremely back logged I've been bringing some of it home to do just so we can catch up. Major negative, boo to the extreme amount of exhaustion I've been having. Plus side, yay for overtimed/banked hours!
New kitten apparently chewed through the wires on several things. Including the fan control switch for the processor fan on both my computer and my husbands. Right now? It sounds like a freaking server room. It's cool as can be, but man..giving me a headache.
I dislocated two of my ribs and have to keep going back to the chiropractor to get them put in. While that's not ideal, I rage at missing class constantly and getting behind right as midterms come and having all of this work pile up. I held down the fort as best as I could but with five classes, most of them upper level writing intensive- whew!
Also, I rage at not being able to find good quality, inexpensive wax play candles locally. $20.00 for one candle, I mean...really?
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
Seriously, do your job so I'm not sitting at a desk for 4 hours organising shit because you can't and missing out on going on cool jobs in the field (Standby on an island as they start up a plant for the first time, I was so excited to go!). we are doing you a favour. A favour that involves driving 8hrs to location and 8hrs back when if you had sent one of your own team it would only be 2hours driving total.
God damn right I'm going to charge you for this and if you complain I'm going to remind you only organised to have a testing window we can access the pipe work one fifth of the actual time required.
I swear to god, if you suddenly tack more work on in the last half hour I have to prepare this before mobilisation if I ever meet you in person I'll thread an isotope pigtail up your urethra.
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I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
(<3 Hang in there)
I make an attempt to actually socialize and speak to people in the game for the first time in a long time and I feel like I'm intruding, like I have to push for anyone to actually respond. Former friends slipping away, almost as if they've moved on or don't give a damn anymore. SO... I flip out, then get even more sad cause I've managed to push even more people away. Great.
Sorry. I'm just feeling really bad and terribly lonely right now.
I'll bring the ambrosia salad.
Five years, lost the house and the car... *grump grump grump*
(Bitter, Party of One.)
the way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
open hand or closed fist would be fine
blood as rare and sweet as cherry wine
Step two: Panic.
Step three: Steamed hams.
Step five: burn mouth on meat pie during dota
I just wish I could spend time with someone who would give a shit whether I live or die, at this point.
step seven: Abandon all hope.
We're so extremely back logged I've been bringing some of it home to do just so we can catch up.
Major negative, boo to the extreme amount of exhaustion I've been having.
Plus side, yay for overtimed/banked hours!
http://jjloraine.wordpress.com/2014/10/11/the-curious-case-of-catalysts/
Because this was and is really painful, for both of us.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
Also, I rage at not being able to find good quality, inexpensive wax play candles locally. $20.00 for one candle, I mean...really?
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
the way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
open hand or closed fist would be fine
blood as rare and sweet as cherry wine
Seriously, do your job so I'm not sitting at a desk for 4 hours organising shit because you can't and missing out on going on cool jobs in the field (Standby on an island as they start up a plant for the first time, I was so excited to go!). we are doing you a favour. A favour that involves driving 8hrs to location and 8hrs back when if you had sent one of your own team it would only be 2hours driving total.
God damn right I'm going to charge you for this and if you complain I'm going to remind you only organised to have a testing window we can access the pipe work one fifth of the actual time required.
I swear to god, if you suddenly tack more work on in the last half hour I have to prepare this before mobilisation if I ever meet you in person I'll thread an isotope pigtail up your urethra.
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