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the way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine
open hand or closed fist would be fine
blood as rare and sweet as cherry wine
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
Went and met with a nutrition specialist due to my inability to eat, freak weight loss and variety of health issues after numerous scans (Waiting for a couple more results, have a few) Basically due to my Crohns and my stomach hurting everytime I eat, I have regressed into a form of Anorexia, which at first I was like wait...what!? However due to the fact that per the count I have lost 114 pounds since October of 2013, it does make a bit of sense, especially since I generally have not been dieting.
My last weigh in with another drop of fifteen was enough that they wanted to call in a team of dietary people to begin me on a regimen that my body can handle due to existing food allergies and disease its been something I have struggled with for a while, Eating correctly. Basically they want me on a good fat sort of diet, things like avocados, olives, nut butters, coconut, etcetera. Lots of Greek and Mexican food has been encouraged in my diet, as they bear little gluten or eggs, and cheese, save for goat cheese which I can eat a ton of.
If the damage intestinally comes back no more than a fistula (Which is a hole that has formed in the membranous wall of the intestines) and not anything cancerous, which....is generally a low chance I have been informed, due to the white blood cells being wonky and my liver reacting due to the inherent starvation mode my body is in. They may need to consider some surgery to remove some damaged tissue but most the healing will be dietary and supplemental. I did get a B vitamin shot today, supposedly that will help with a bit...doctor referred to it as a miracle injection for some folks.
Nevertheless, I have rounded the bend...the sick feeling in my stomach can be relieved a bit and I can work on healing.
I took a voluntary pay cut to go back to working regular human hours, and hopefully get more of a routine going in my life again.
Heres to good health.
And that bothers me.
Today, I started rolling the dooley's truffles. It. Was. A. Mess. Sticky and gooey and it refused to stay in a spherical shape. After having done 2 trays full, we FINALLY got Another truffle mold. This means we can do 134 perfectly round truffles at a time.
I'm not gonna start over with the ginger ones, since we have 187 of them finished already, but I felt the need to start over with the dooley's truffles, cause they looked like crap. That was about 1.5 hour of work down the drain. Also, because the mix is so sticky, we will probably have to freeze the truffles to get them out of the form, then instantly dip them in tempered chocolate, which will cause them to crack because of the temperature difference. So.. yay... double dip will be needed.
I just feel like a mess today. I'm not sure how we are going to pull this off, or rather, how I am going to pull this off since everyone else is busy with other stuff and stressed about their own things.
Trust me, it would feel a lot better if I actually got paid for doing this. At least then there would be a reason for the exhausting, aching hands, feet and back, stress and being on the verge of tears constantly.
Sorry for the chocolaty ramble, needed to get this off my chest.
*hugs*
I never felt the muscles ache on the tops of my thighs before until now. I am hobbling along today.. Ready to finish my nine hour shift -salute-
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
"The smell of dusty fur, sweet smoke, waiting and patience, a thing that time cannot kill. The moth that candles won't burn."
Pulled the last one out of a tree, 900 fucking meters off the DZ and into the the land of the lost, or fucking Narnia, or whatever it is that these pacific northwest forests are called, at 6AM this morning.
I'm tired and grumpy and a fucking helicopter blew my last sandwich off the hood of my truck last night. And yes, for those of you who ridicule. It was turkey and cheese and mother effing manly KETCHUP. Judge me, judgers.
Now I'm eating McDonalds and going to bed. Grr.
I feel really crappy today. Just, down, and tired and like I need to crawl into a home away from people. My motivation I had for so many thing has also left me, and just creates a sort of emptiness.
Sigh.