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So, my boyfriend is a manager. About a year and a few months or so ago, he hired his cousin-in-law to work under him. In my opinion, it's a terrible idea to hire family or friends for obvious reasons. My boyfriend made the argument that they're both adults and they've known each other for 10+ years; he thought that they would be able to handle any sort of conflict with professionalism and maturity. Being stubborn, he wouldn't listen to any counterarguments. His cousin-in-law has received numerous complaints from customers and fellow employees alike who have accused him of being lazy, disrespectful, inaccurate in cash dealings (which has later been confirmed by the general manager AND the home office), as well as late, and just generally incompetent. Stabs has been very patient with him, asking him what he needs, even offering to re-train him on more than one occasion.
Well, his cousin-in-law had to take the COMPASS test - he dragged his feet until the very last test date and tried to only give a week or so notice instead of the mandatory two weeks. At most places, he would still have options but given the nature of their business and how understaffed they are, it's difficult to scramble to cover positions so Stabs basically said that they can't really accommodate them. His cousin-in-law responded either Collin works for him or there will be no one to cover because he's going no matter what. Stabs responded that he isn't comfortable being bossed around and that it is really his cousin-in-law's fault for dragging his feet so long. Stabs told him that it's his responsibility to cover the test and as the day drew closer, the cousin-in-law tries to bully him into it some more but Stabs is largely unresponsive.
The cousin-in-law's girlfriend, Stab's cousin, gets involved and basically tries to vilify Stabs by guilt tripping him and making further demands, to which Stabs is, again, largely unresponsive. He communicates again that he's uncomfortable with it. This isn't the first time that she's interfered, either. She calls in for him to work, she lectures Stabs for his management decisions, and constantly tries to white knight whoever is getting criticized. She has also tried to interject herself in our relationship as well, lecturing us about money and trying to criticize our dynamic. She has complained that Stabs never makes an effort since he only visits like 3-4 times per month. They've always been welcomed over by us but have never showed up or made any effort to be here.
The cousin-in-law eventually humbled himself and apologized so Stabs agrees to cover his shift but not after his cousin demands all of the movies back that she loaned us, using her property as leverage. Stabs communicates he's not comfortable with her doing that and a month later she eventually approaches him wanting to talk about it. In between these two points, his other cousin/brother to his girl cousin, had been very disrespectful to me. We both worked it out, I took accountability for being a hot head and he took accountability for being a douchebag - we moved on. His sister didn't and basically tried to explain to me how 'their family works', where she communicates that I should just 'get used to' the way communication works in their family. Confused? Me too. I told her I'm not surrendering my boundaries.
Anyway, a month later his female cousin says she feels like they're 'growing a part' and she wants to talk about it. When Stabs starts talking about his feelings, she loses patience and says, "I'm going to go play a game of LoL, I'll talk to you after we're done." Stabs communicates that he's not comfortable with being dismissed while he's trying to share his feelings and reach a solution. He says he needs a break from all of the conflict and that he'll contact her when he's not so worked up. She texts him back after she finishes up her game saying that he WILL bring her movies with him to work on Saturday to give the movies back to her boyfriend because she is 'tired of all the games'. Stabs says that he's not going to meet any demands while she's being disrespectful and if she wants anything from him, she's going to have to treat him with respect. Also, he clarifies that he's not intending to play games, he's demanding respect in his relationship dynamic with her. She says that her main problem is me anyway. Confused again? So am I. I'm pretty sure she's deflecting but I take to facebook and write a message basically saying that I'm confused but willing to talk about it. She doesn't answer. About 1:30 this morning she texts and says that her brother would like his stuff back as well, since he's done with Stabs too. They were Stab's biggest support system so this has been hard on him.
tl;dr His cousins have no boundaries and appear to have very little respect for him or me. Allllllll aboard the drama train.
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
No, that guy is not me.
i am rapture coder
>.<
Not so rage - My 49ers are Moving on up, mooooovin on up. Was the only fun part about yesterday (when I was AT work), that I got to see on my laptop the win, couldn't watch the game...just the stats, but still!
i am rapture coder
Abhorash says, "Ve'kahi has proved that even bastards can earn their place."
Abhorash says, "Ve'kahi has proved that even bastards can earn their place."
But yes, the answer to your question is that we do discuss it with the staff: my psych, the psych that administers it, and the ECT coordinator. There are a lot of things about ECT that make me really angry but in the end, the degree it's helped me makes all of those things minor complaints.
Too much positive thoughts in this post. Today's complaint is that @Roux woke me up texting me about an Animal Crossing emulator. Jerk.
You know you were thrilled to hear about it. DON'T LIE.
Abhorash says, "Ve'kahi has proved that even bastards can earn their place."