Mildly Irritating: Aetolia's Pet Peeves

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  • edited January 2022
    Of late, I've realized I haven't really been enjoying Aetolia in general, or to be more specific, the general  attitudes of players. When everything becomes treated as a competition, the mentality to win often overshadows everything else. To me, it also seems that people have been feeling emboldened, or encouraged to be holier-than-thou and shittier to each other, IC and OOC, and they aren't cognizant of how they're coming across.

    I've ultimately concluded this remains consistent for players in all IREs and I should temper my expectations. It is upsetting, however, and hasn't really made me want to remain cordial in turn.
    NipsyObaIesidTetchtaWjoltyrXenia
  • edited January 2022
    I sure hope you're including all your own friends in that "general attitude" comment of yours, as well.


    Getting a real big, "we can be dicks but you're not allowed to be dicks" feeling here...



    LinSeurimasIazamatCarminWjoltyrKurakMazzionNipsyTetchtaLenoriel
  • Wow it took exactly one post to find an example. That's pretty crazy.

    Arbre-Today at 7:27 PM

    You're a vindictive lil unicorn
    ---------------------------

    Lartus-Today at 7:16 PM

    oh wait, toz is famous

    Karhast-Today at 7:01 PM

    You're a singularity of fucking awfulness Toz
    ---------------------------
    Didi's voice resonates across the land, "Yay tox."
    ---------------------------

    Ictinus11/01/2021

    Block Toz
    ---------------------------

    limToday at 10:38 PM


    you disgust me
    ---------------------------
    (Web): Bryn says, "Toz is why we can't have nice things."

    TetchtaSeurimasIazamatWjoltyrGalileiKurakArathNipsy
  • edited January 2022
    Akrios said:
    I sure hope you're including all your own friends in that "general attitude" comment of yours, as well. Getting a real big, "we can be dicks but you're not allowed to be dicks" feeling here...

    I do also refer to people who I play with, alongside with your own* and at least I own it.

    Don't be an OOC dick. Thanks.

    LinIazamatTetchtaWjoltyrNipsyXenia
  • I never said Spirit were sunshine and rainbows. Merely asking a question; no need to get your panties in a twist.
    CarminKurakTetchta
  • Hey! So I am new around here and just wanted to add my two pence.

    With regards to the holier-than-thou stuff. I feel like IC it can sometimes be warranted, especially if you're part of an organization that promotes such attitudes. There is always going to be an air of "What you're doing is not right, you should be doing what we do". Which, if played with the understanding the person you're RPing with is also trying to cooperate in the storytelling, can actually be good. I.e, this whole "You said one sentence. Time to die" thing kind of kills that off.


    But the OOC stuff? Thats just bad sportsmanship, I feel like the person behind the character should always be seperated. They're human and just like you, they're here for enjoyment. Theres no need to rush to ISSUE or rush to fight on that level. If a situation cant be resolved IC and its upsetting you as a player, perhaps a tell to the other person like "//Heres the rub" and explaining your concerns would go a long way. -most- people will understand.

    KalenaEleneNipsyXeniaZeheia
  • edited January 2022
    I completely understand the IC attitudes, and I do think it's warranted for most part (yes, this qualifies both sides) to act as zealots, or assholes, or what-have-you. I'll be more enthused if individuals would actually decide they would RP or pursue it beyond the superficial, which some have done, or some who don't really care.

    ... but then you run into people who are bad faith actors. Sportsmanship? I think if we've all read Ictinus' response in that Bloodbath thread, I'm aware that we are not all immune to engaging in unsportsmanlike behaviour ourselves. Just because I'm mostly nice and tolerant doesn't give people a right to think they're okay to rant at me or take potshots at me (see: discord).
  • I've enjoyed a lot of the shouting the last few weeks. I have not enjoyed when it diverts into lower and lower stakes in an effort to insult people or get a burn in.

    My pet peeve is when people try to steer shouting matches towards less worthwhile subjects. I don't care about the latest developments in anyone's marital status. I want to go back to scream tweeting pseudo-theological discourse at someone 12 areas away.
    LinFyrren
  • edited January 2022
    Tetchta said:

    Akrios said:

    Merely asking a question;



    Yuck, have you seen what sea lions do to penguins?
  • My peeve are all the ones who are as big of a sore winner, as they are sore losers. You know which ones they are, because they feel the need to start shouting after every single engagement, no matter how big of one.
  • BenedictoBenedicto Tentacles Errywhere!
    Whirran said:

    It was one of my biggest gripes when I started that it didn't seem like Aetolia had any genuine "villains."

    Clearly you've never met @Naos - perfect example of a villain!

    image
    RhineXavinNipsyEleneSaltz
  • @Whirran

    You sound like a reasonable guy so I hope you don't take this as criticism as much as a suggestion/reminder in what I hope is going to end up being a fruitful conversation that leaves the game and the community in a better place.

    Sometimes IC actions can bleed over into how people feel OOC when we take things too far. When your character is constantly shouting about picking on the inexperienced while hiding from all of our combatants in the safety of his city and essentially goading us, it is easy to see why people may start to find his IC actions quite distasteful as OOC players. Given they have no real IC recourse, eventually it's going to bleed over and make the players themselves angry. I can never agree with going to discord or whatever to OOC rant at or insult somebody, but I also think that it doesn't come out of nowhere (for the most part, anyway - I know some people will go off at anything).

    I am going to agree with Benedicto about Naos. His character is awful but he plays it incredibly well, and at the end of the day it's clear he's not just in it to "win". He's ready to take a loss. That, to me, is a much more sustainable way of playing a villain. People are more willing to engage with him as a character, despite how awful he might be.
    SeurimasOba
  • edited January 2022
    @Czcibor

    I have some immediate feelings about what you are posting. Shouts are opt-in and if someone is shouting in a way that is bothering you ooc and not just ic, then it might be a good idea to use shoutsoff. Because essentially in your post you are justifying bad behavior by saying his ic actions made them ooc mad. Ultimately it is up to the player to monitor their emotions and show some emotional maturity. And if shouts are hurting your ooc feelings it might be time to take a step back and examine yourself.

    Edit: Also, I am curious who is 'inexperienced'? From deathsights I mostly see Whirran engaging with Spirit veteran players in combat and most shouts are directed towards them.
    IazamatGalileiObaXenia
  • edited January 2022
    Kurak said:

    @Czcibor

    I have some immediate feelings about what you are posting. Shouts are opt-in and if someone is shouting in a way that is bothering you ooc and not just ic, then it might be a good idea to use shoutsoff. Because essentially in your post you are justifying bad behavior by saying his ic actions made them ooc mad. Ultimately it is up to the player to monitor their emotions and show some emotional maturity. And if shouts are hurting your ooc feelings it might be time to take a step back and examine yourself.

    Edit: Also, I am curious who is 'inexperienced'? From deathsights I mostly see Whirran engaging with Spirit veteran players in combat and most shouts are directed towards them.

    I disagree. Shouts are as opt-in as pretty much any other form of communication. In game, you can always IGNORE someone entirely. Out of game, you can block them from whatever platform they are using to contact you. I think it is victim blaming a bit when we say that people should "monitor their emotions". Yes, people should learn when to step away from the game, but the rest of us should also show our own "emotional maturity" and realise that there is a person on the other side too. I am not justifying the bad behaviour (in fact, I even said as much in my post), but I am saying that these things don't come out of nowhere and everyone has a responsibility to make this game enjoyable for everyone else. I am saying that "IC actions" is not a blank cheque to do whatever we want if we want other people to engage with.

    The "inexperienced" person that comes to mind is Sardara. He is by no means innocent, because he has been shouting back just as much, but my point was about the fact that Whirran has specifically gone after him while avoiding the rest of us as much as possible. I used the word "inexperienced" because this was the exact word used in some of the shouting matches about who exactly would be targeted.
    KurakAlmolEleneWjoltyrIazamatTetchtaSeurimas
  • 2nd on killstats, Bama's order is top on deathstats. Unless @Blodwyn is getting farmed constantly, I'm pretty sure "he hides constantly in his city" is basically utter disregard for reality. I saw the guy eat a 6 man ganksquad earlier, and pretty much every time I see him go after anyone who attacked him/gave him a reason to, 2-3 more show up as well. This is not a new phenomenon, not to Aetolia and *definitely* not since I came back- @Lim also had a lot of trouble where he had a valid reason to hunt people down, and they just kept calling for backup and ganking him again.

    I think the hottest take so far is implying that saying 'hey maybe people should be responsible for their own actions/emotions instead of sending hate messages on Discord' is victim blaming.

    Arbre-Today at 7:27 PM

    You're a vindictive lil unicorn
    ---------------------------

    Lartus-Today at 7:16 PM

    oh wait, toz is famous

    Karhast-Today at 7:01 PM

    You're a singularity of fucking awfulness Toz
    ---------------------------
    Didi's voice resonates across the land, "Yay tox."
    ---------------------------

    Ictinus11/01/2021

    Block Toz
    ---------------------------

    limToday at 10:38 PM


    you disgust me
    ---------------------------
    (Web): Bryn says, "Toz is why we can't have nice things."

    KurakReaveAlmolNipsyWjoltyrEleneIazamatXenia
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    edited January 2022
    I actually reached out to Elene after she made this post, because I do actively try to create an engaging environment when I play, and I wanted to make sure if there were things I could change as a player that I was aware of them, just to be certain I was not overstepping boundaries as were stated in the original post here.

    We had a great conversation, and honestly I think seeing how I discuss and do things OOC, demonstrated that from her perspective that my character and I are a separate entity.
    Thankfully I was not an issue, but it is unsettling seeing a City leader troubled by this kind of behavior, and obviously our goals should be to support our City culture, and not be impacted negatively like this.

    By no means am I infallible of making mistakes nor are any others of us who play the game, however, I, in returning to Aetolia have been doing my very best to keep from devolving into OOC mudslinging against players, or saying negative things which would ultimately harm the community. I have been in the bad shoes before, I have said things that were harmful, and I made a promise to myself when I returned to this game, that I would not follow in those footsteps again.

    Nipsy - IS TERRIBLE, he is just an abhorrent little cretin who deserves all the IC hate he receives, and should be hunted, burned alive, stoned to death, tortured and tormented. I designed him to be a chaotic trainwreck of a Gnome, but on the other end, he has objectives, hardships and things he demonstrates IC to those he communicates with, even if some of those are vague threats. However, nothing I would say IC reflects my personal feelings on anyone or anything OOC, and people who work closely with me know that.

    I have heard some stark parallels from 4 or 5 people that there are some rather toxic behaviors amongst certain people. None of these effect me personally, but that needs to not happen...because the people they will effect will result in a poor image of our playerbase, especially with a new playerbase coming in quite quickly as of late.

    Side Note: There seems to be an influx of players who like to shout and engage in conflict from the safety of places they can't be reached, then when they finally do get punished for their behavior, it turns into ganksquads. Hold people liable for their own actions, I know I have had Nipsy say plenty of times, come face me, and met with four or five people from a conversation initiated by an outlier who wants to act tough in safety. It is one thing to shout and antagonize people, it is another to be vaguely relevant enough to do so.
    Kurak
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    Czcibor said:


    I disagree. Shouts are as opt-in as pretty much any other form of communication. In game, you can always IGNORE someone entirely.

    What a horrible comparison. Shouts are easier to opt out of than SAYs are--SHOUTSOFF my guy. It's more akin to opting out of a city channel. Does it make it awkward when gods join the fray? Sure. Consequence you face of ignoring shouts. Or you can be like me, and literally zone out shouts entirely untils omeone comments on them in another medium. Shouts are so easy to ignore.

    IazamatKurakNipsyOba
  • You can't unhear Godshouts even when you Shoutsoff, afaik
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    edited January 2022
    Saltz said:

    You can't unhear Godshouts even when you Shoutsoff, afaik

    Tetchta said:

    Shouts are easier to opt out of than SAYs are--SHOUTSOFF my guy. It's more akin to opting out of a city channel. Does it make it awkward when gods join the fray? Sure. Consequence you face of ignoring shouts.




  • I just want to respond to a few things here in Cz's post.

    1: I'm not going to waste a whole lot of time on this, but I think the claim that I "only attack inexperienced people and avoid experienced combatants" is super disingenuous. I may be missing some, but I know in the last week I've 1v1 killed at least these people. Valorie, Iesid, Illikaal, Saltz, Kalena, Aeryx, Rasani. All of these are folks who have chosen to engage with me in pk for various reasons, and while I won't try to tell anyone if they are or are not experienced, I think if all of these folks are inexperienced the pickings for who IS experienced get rather slim. Mind you, I've not won every fight against these people, not even close. But I've won enough, I think, to make the claim that I don't avoid them.

    If that isn't enough, there are only 3 people in sect that I've fought that I have not beaten once. Sheryni, Lim, and Benedicto. Everyone else I've fought I have at least beaten once or twice, as far as I'm aware. I don't want this to come across as a brag, but to claim I'm afraid of facing combatants is just. Wrong. I don't win every fight, but I win a decent few. Trying to claim I only beat up inexperienced folks because of, I assume the situation with Sardara, is leaving out a lot of facts. Namely that Sardara helped gank me 5 deep at a sermon, two or three times in a row, when I had never interacted with him before. I killed him exactly the same number of times he helped kill me with that group, no more and no less, and told him right after that I regarded us as even and we parted on, I think, pretty decent terms.

    It is true that 1v1 situations are becoming much more rare, I will and do avoid conflict with veterans when they are attempting to kill me in groups. This morning for example, Benedicto after me became Benedicto and Saltz, became benedicto, Saltz, Rhine and Kalena, and that finally became a six man gank that finally got me in death caves. I'm not complaining, mind you, it was very well executed and I died horribly. But under those circumstances I'm not going to fight straight up, that's just absurd.

    2: All of this aside, I understand people get their OOC feelings hurt. But I don't see that happening as any sort of excuse for acting that way OOC. That is a conscious decision to allow that to affect treating players, not characters, like trash. However that is spun, that falls on the person who is allowing their rage at a text game drive them to treat others OOCly like garbage, imo. I'm firmly on the self moderation train, and I think that's clear for anyone who has ever interacted with me OOC.

    3: Just as a general claim, if anyone ever has issues, feel free to reach out. I promise to be reasonable and talk things through. I am not changing Whirran as a character, but I am willing to adjust if people have a genuine conversation with me. So don't hesitate to reach out in game or whatever.


    IazamatNipsyKurakXenia
  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    edited January 2022
    Casual chop-busting aside, this is def a problem game-wide, no side is without sin--that doesn't mean we should accept that it's okay. I've definitely seen plenty of people sanctimoniously dismiss the Shadow Tether as wholesale toxic because of
    1. things that both "sides" do (also, hey, do you think maybe viewing this as different "sides" is paramountly stupid? like probably a part of the dumb problem? We're only on opposing sides ICly)
    2. things that happened IC, for IC reasons, that made IC sense, and wasn't all that terrible (like people who talked poop and got scooped)
    3. things that happened years ago, from folk who became social pariahs, and requires glossing over the actual years of effort put into drumming out bad faith actors from at least our casual macrocommunity.
    Newsflash: we're a game that peaks with sometimes over 100 people, there's gonna be poopbags. It doesn't make toxicity an inherent quality of either tether's culture, nor does it make People Who Play On The Other Team Bad People (seen this one from folk all over the map). Nor, frankly, does the inevitability of bad faith and/or abusive actors make that sort of behavior something we should ignore. Anyway, if I have to have Shout Discourse one more time, I'm gonna rip my fingernails out.

    XavinNipsyKurakAlmol
  • edited January 2022
    You do not even miss god shouts from my understanding. You get this message when you shoutsoff: You will now ignore mortal shouting.

    @Czcibor We have jumped to dramatics very fast in this thread. If you are taking IG shouting at your character to discord to angrily rant at the person behind the character, I think you have given up your right to be called the victim. If someone is causing you that much genuine grief it is time to either ignore, shoutsoff, or issue them.

    Edit: Three more posts appeared while I was posting this one.
    Xenia
  • The Sardara thing -
    Sardara got involved in ganks and piled in on the guy. I know it's fun and games when you're on the winning side, and it's easy to get a kill on someone, but please don't forget that the guy you piled in on is a guy behind the screen and he sees fully that you piled in on him. Every last name. So it's especially gross to see the 'inexperienced' card being played here.

    Aside from the fact that Whirran doesn't specifically target only 'inexperienced' people ( and as far as I'm concerned, Whirran is himself a bignoob, kek), I think it's disingenuous (at worse) and very un-self-aware (at best - let's choose this interpretation, yeah?) to think that Whirran is the perpetrator abusing people. The guy has been ganked so much I ask him if he's even enjoying himself.

    This whole issue is the reason I don't personally enjoy PvP with certain people. To me, competition isn't fun when it isn't friendly, and it's no fun playing with people who are just no fun to play with. Yes, I know it's a common thing online and in games to have people who get their rocks off dominating/killing others to make themselves feel good, but at this stage in my life it's just lame/cringe to me. Would rather see a world where PvP is about competing, improving and enjoy each others successes.
    Kurak
  • Gonna reiterate I'm not supporting people being nasty to each other OOCly regardless of their reasoning since that seems to have been lost.

    I'll admit that my perception on other things may have been coloured by the side of the game I see, though.
  • edited January 2022
    Lim said:

    The Sardara thing -
    Aside from the fact that Whirran doesn't specifically target only 'inexperienced' people ( and as far as I'm concerned, Whirran is himself a bignoob, kek), I think it's disingenuous (at worse) and very un-self-aware (at best - let's choose this interpretation, yeah?) to think that Whirran is the perpetrator abusing people. The guy has been ganked so much I ask him if he's even enjoying himself.

    I know, right?

    I do not even see Whirran as an IC villain. He is like a teddy bear.

    If he were a real villain, he wouldn't get mad at me for eating the innkeeper during his patrols. :angry:
    GalileiReaveNipsyAlmolXeniaZeheia
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine


    ReaveTetchta
  • edited January 2022
    I resolved the situation with Whirran IC. On an OOC level, I feel Whirran has things incorrect, he engaged once and then ceased out of habbit, instead opting to talk to a character called Pietre, at which point, someone jumped him. Which I had expected. He returned to talk since he figured he had basically just paid the debt and he got jumped and died again. So as a player, I withdrew from that scenario.

    However, After all the other deaths that took place without a response by me, I eventually just spoke to Whirran IC and just went with his word that "things were even". Although I did it in a bit of a "Dont prove people right about your kind." sort of attitude to kind of, not entirely come off as cowardish. I did not see the need to engage him OOC as things got settled that way. Had it continued, I likely would have done.

    Sometimes guys, in roleplay, you have to just let misunderstandings like this go and concede "Alright, whatever, but moving forwards...". If you're unwilling to do that, it just breeds contempt towards one another.

    Sometimes, part of that reaching out is looking inwards when they respond. If you think someone is saying something incorrect, its wise not to assume the worst. Instead given the fact the screen was moving a million miles a second and I couldn't really understand what was happening, I assumed he probably did believe I had engaged three times or had intended to. THEREFORE, I just moved forward on the basis that this is what happened.

    Its about compromise guys. In the end, we're playing a game. Its not worth it to be like "REEEEEEEEEEE"

  • TetchtaTetchta The Innocent
    edited January 2022
    Hot take: you don't have to perfectly understand a situation in order to roleplay in it, OOC or otherwise. Being a human being is all about acting on limited information and our cognitive biases and blindnesses. So, honestly, I never consider it too big a deal if someone OOC doesn't see the full IC picture. It's not necessary, and nobody is obliged to have all the information or see all the moving pieces. Doing so might actually make it harder to RP authentically.

    KurakIazamatNipsySeurimas
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