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(The Front Line): Daskalos says, "<-- artifacts."
Kinda my personal anthem right now.
My boyfriend of three years left me a week ago, just left and wouldn't answer calls. Finally after a few days, he texted saying we were over. I've been kinda stuck here - I wanted to move back to southern California a long time ago, because there are no jobs in my industry (QA, specifically video games) at all up here, but he begged me to stay and instead moved in and started covering finances while I did classes, writing jobs via the internet and lame housewifey stuff. Every time I brought up a move, he wouldn't let us talk about it. He rarely wanted to leave the house. I lost touch with everyone. Along with some other things, this really drove me deeper into this helpless, depressed spiral. Aetolia - as silly as it sounds - kinda became my only social outlet.
And then he left, citing my lack of financial contributions, leaving me with $6, an apartment lease and bills. After a few dark days of just hating him, life, myself, everything, I got shit into gear, starting the wheels turning on getting myself independent again - getting the lease and bills put back in his name, getting my car working, getting a driver's license again, starting the process of moving back to California, getting a job lined up (I already have a fairly confirmed back-up one promised).
Today he finally called me and was like, "Ok let's talk about us-" And I was able to just Kanye him and be like "Yeah, Imma let you finish but no, here's what *I* am doing." I have a plan for what I'm doing. He left, so he can find a place to fit into that, somewhere in the background.
For the first time in a long time, I feel - despite the painful emotions and stuff I'm struggling with - motivated and enthusiastic and excited about my future. I feel like someone I used to be long ago, someone strong, and it's good to start getting back to being that woman.
Thank you to everyone here in Aetolia who has tolerated my crap and, beyond that, helped me push through it, most especially @Slyphe, @Toz, @Aarbrok, @Xenia, @Aliod, @Rivas, @Eleanor, @Piper and particularly @Iosyne for being inspirational and reminding me what you can do with your life when you are motivated. I'm not out of the weeds yet, but they sure as hell don't look like a forest anymore.
Ill see you next Sunday, and I know I will talk to you before then but I want you to know that you are doing great and I am proud of you...continue forward and do big things hun, I know you can. Plus of course I will have another reason to come down to San Diego again, and we can go to Shakespeares for Fish and Chips...Just saying.
On another note, I was on Reddit on my break and this showed up...
@Slyphe order meeting?
*boogey smeer*
I've been off teaching band camp, which is always the best part of my year. I am exhausted, sore, and sporting a sexy V-neck tan line, but I'm energized and ready to get back to my other two jobs.
Also I got a pie to the face.
One balloonist scared the shit out of me while I was on Aetolia this morning--I was hearing loud farting noises or engine break outside my window, and looked out to see a hot air balloon 2 sts over and low to the trees. Alas, by the time I had pants on they had hit the tree line and then the trees were in the way.
I got some nice photos of pirates and one of my supervisors at the Xerox booth with the recruiter. And I got a blue dragon tattoo (airbrush) from someone there, with fried dough.
I remember, involve me and I
learn.
-Benjamin Franklin
like whether or not he can hear.
i am rapture coder
Now you're just willing to tolerate idiots more!
*sagenod*
I made a shirt! It was with the sewing machine, and I actually didn't do a bad job. Score!
There is a very high possibility that we will be moving back to the Rock Hill, SC/Charlotte, NC area when our lease is up. So much yay.
Also, I love that I'm getting all of these hours at work and can put away more money for the move, even if my time is somewhat limited.
"To be awkward or unkempt, to talk or move wrongly is to be a dangerous giant, a destroyer of worlds...any accurately improper move can poke through the thin sleeve of immediate reality." - Erving Goffman
Eeeeeeeeee