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Confession Thread 2.0
Lait
Ohio
Here we shamelessly air out our dirty laundry for all to see. A reboot of this old thread.
- I absolutely, positively, seriously love PK. Unless I'm terminally busy IRL, I will always accept a challenge and try start a fight if there are none to find.
-- Even if I know I'll lose.
--- Especially if I know I'll lose.
-- I'm a better PKer than I am an RPer.
-- Lait as a character was only created because @Akara wanted someone to PK with.
--- She wrote my aff tracker, and I built the rest of my system on top of it.
- I also like arguing with people, just for the hell of it.
-- Even if I know I'll lose.
- I read every single post in the old Q&MQ thread, the new Q&MQ thread, and every single incarnation of the rage thread.
-- Literally thousands of pages.
--- The constant arguments and toxicity were glorious to behold.
- I used to mudsex. A lot.
-- I was REALLY GOOD at it.
-- It's like writing trashy romance novels together. It's the guiltiest of pleasures, but I felt no shame.
--- I ended up getting into an IRL relationship with a person I mudsexed and flew down to Florida for a week to meet them.
---- It wasn't even as good as the mudsex.
- I was a thorn in the side of the IRE community for seven years. I was 13 when I started playing IRE games in 2005 and I was an idiot kid back then, so I did idiot kid things.
-- Like make alts that would invariably end up doing stupid things and get outguilded from every guild they joined.
-- I would insult people after they PK'd me so they could PK me again, and again, and again.
-- One time I had a tailoring license that I bought with my birthday money and I incessantly made stupid anime-themed tailoring designs that got rejected nine times out of ten.
-- Around 2012 I finally got my shit together and made a character in Imperian where I ended up being GM of the Diavlous (their version of the Infernals) and on the ruling council in Stavenn (their Bloodloch/Mhaldor.)
-- I still did dumb shit in Imperian, but I found that after I became an established PKer, people tended to let it slide.
- I get drunk a lot. I might have a problem.
-- It took me 4 shots of Jaegermeister to woman up and make this thread.
-- I play video games while drunk and do stupid things.
--- A couple years ago I ended up getting my characters shrubbed in Imperian when I got super blackout drunk and spammed the N-word on the market channel.
--- They got unshrubbed, but I'm still permanently banned from their Market and their forums.
- I absolutely, positively, seriously love PK. Unless I'm terminally busy IRL, I will always accept a challenge and try start a fight if there are none to find.
-- Even if I know I'll lose.
--- Especially if I know I'll lose.
-- I'm a better PKer than I am an RPer.
-- Lait as a character was only created because @Akara wanted someone to PK with.
--- She wrote my aff tracker, and I built the rest of my system on top of it.
- I also like arguing with people, just for the hell of it.
-- Even if I know I'll lose.
- I read every single post in the old Q&MQ thread, the new Q&MQ thread, and every single incarnation of the rage thread.
-- Literally thousands of pages.
--- The constant arguments and toxicity were glorious to behold.
- I used to mudsex. A lot.
-- I was REALLY GOOD at it.
-- It's like writing trashy romance novels together. It's the guiltiest of pleasures, but I felt no shame.
--- I ended up getting into an IRL relationship with a person I mudsexed and flew down to Florida for a week to meet them.
---- It wasn't even as good as the mudsex.
- I was a thorn in the side of the IRE community for seven years. I was 13 when I started playing IRE games in 2005 and I was an idiot kid back then, so I did idiot kid things.
-- Like make alts that would invariably end up doing stupid things and get outguilded from every guild they joined.
-- I would insult people after they PK'd me so they could PK me again, and again, and again.
-- One time I had a tailoring license that I bought with my birthday money and I incessantly made stupid anime-themed tailoring designs that got rejected nine times out of ten.
-- Around 2012 I finally got my shit together and made a character in Imperian where I ended up being GM of the Diavlous (their version of the Infernals) and on the ruling council in Stavenn (their Bloodloch/Mhaldor.)
-- I still did dumb shit in Imperian, but I found that after I became an established PKer, people tended to let it slide.
- I get drunk a lot. I might have a problem.
-- It took me 4 shots of Jaegermeister to woman up and make this thread.
-- I play video games while drunk and do stupid things.
--- A couple years ago I ended up getting my characters shrubbed in Imperian when I got super blackout drunk and spammed the N-word on the market channel.
--- They got unshrubbed, but I'm still permanently banned from their Market and their forums.
Art by @Phoenecia! Full image available here!
5
Comments
-I have semi-known characters and unknown characters that I've only let one or two people know about.
--I'm still kinda iffy about the reputation or lack thereof of any of those characters
---Probably will never tell
-Coryn was not meant to be the character I was going to use retire credits on, I was going to make a Cabalist or Vampire.
--The only thing that prevented that was the sheer amount of people on Light side.
---I kinda wish I had gone Shadow
-I used to PK but due to the sheer amount of time away, I've forgotten literally everything
--I feel useless because of this and tend to avoid conflict until I either A. get over the feeling or B. there are a lot of other people
---I know this makes me a coward, which Coryn is not
-I originally didn't have any sort of style planned for Coryn
--The accent/way of speech just kinda happened, it fluctuates and I've been trying to get into the rhythm of it so it won't
---It's very hard to maintain sometimes, especially after playing alts.
-I 'har' irl
--Har is my favourite word
---If you don't 'har' then we can't be friends.
There's probably more, but brain no think right at the moment.
Sorry, not sorry.
-- He was like, the biggest troll ever, and I love him for that.
- I took Adderall to bash from 95-100 in 8 hours. Shattered Vortex + mint + chalice + 40% XP bonus = amazing.
-- Never bashing again, holy crap. Not even on alts.
- I don't use hammers any more. Sorry, but Carnifex limb route is super lame atm and I can't think of a good classlead report to fix it. I'll have to multi-round repair
- I wasn't having fun with Toz for awhile so I rebooted him in the lamest way, but I'm having way more fun now so screw you, judgy people.
- When I first started playing, I had the biggest RP hero crush on @Sibatti, where I desperately longed for senpai to notice me.
- - I almost quit Aetolia after (old) dementia made it sound like Sibatti said 'That Kog guy is really annoying.' on CT.
- I have this vicious alt cycle of start a secret alt -> play obsessively -> get found out/tell a few people -> more people find out -> quit playing that alt. I always miss my toys, but most of all I get too much ego invested and feel like if I lose at pk then I lose esteem and that makes me grumpy.
- If I die to it, I rage for the entirety of my death sequence. Usually enough time to cool down - sometimes not.
- - My 'zen' is fixing 2 things per loss, every loss. Keeps me honest, makes me re-evaluate and figure out a way to counter whatever beat me.
- I have a hood and hate it exists, but also like the fact I can do whatever I want and the plebs can't find me.
- Sometimes I feel like I might be a top tier fighter and that thought scares me.
- - Then I die to recklessness for the 10000th time because I'm too stupid to write a check for it and my shame/mid-tier status returns.
-- I tell myself I'm making up for all the swearing I've never done on aetolia before with Zaila.
-- The first time I had Zaila say "TheRealThing,NotUnicorns" IC, I spent five minutes debating with myself and kept waiting for some admonishing lightening bolt of shrubbery to come and zap her.
-- The forum won't let me fully log out of posting as Zaila, and I'm too lazy to go clear the cookie, so this is how I post now.
-- Zaila is the first time I have succeeded at alting anywhere
-- Most people know who I also play.
-- Because of that, I've given it up entirely at this point. It's pretty boring at this point.
- I feel like I suck at RP lately.
-- Before I quit, I had a flow that's gone now and it's upsetting.
-- My writing right now feels very dry and boring and I'm not sure what to do to fix that.
Bought the whole of Qashar hoods because I got tired of them being found. Then Tene-bro got a level 2 hood, felt like a pleb that day.
As for your tier? You've always been top-tier to me, Bozzy-boy.
I'm afraid to ever return to this game and get back to being top dog at PK, because this game makes me become such an animalistic unicornshole that I don't like being. Despite the fact that I really need to kick @Draiman's teeth in. I just don't know.
* While I still consider myself an RP whore first and foremost, since coming back I've found that I really do enjoy getting involved in PK, and I wonder why I never got involved in it much earlier.
* I wish I could be a top-tier PKer, but I don't have the scripting skill to build my own system.
* I missed RPing a lot after being relatively inactive for like 2 years. Since coming back, I still feel like I'm not up to par, or that my writing skills have gotten worse.
* I've been trying to make more of an effort to interact with more people. Being full rogue for as long as I have has kind of left me starved for intrigue, and it's nice being able to get involved in stuff again.
* I usually have at least one alt lurking around to test the waters in different cities or different guilds.
* I still spend a lot of my time crafting. I also seem to have this compulsion to pick up every skill that involves designing.
* Before I came back, I had given some serious thought to retiring Phoe, but ultimately decided against it. Also, I really didn't want to give up my Esterport shop or all of my craft skills. >_>
* I still have a lot of regrets over stuff that happened or stuff I had done before I left.
* I still draw Aetolia art on occasion when the mood suits me. Getting a commission request from @Lait out of the blue after I had been inactive for a while was a surprise, but a welcome one.
he's like. "My top tier fighting, yessssss.""
Edit: Filter didn't catch the bad word!!!
--I overrely on head tilting and hand gestures to convey my character.
-I'm usually an RPer but lately I've gotten really into PK.
--I'm bad at figuring stuff out myself, though, so a lot of the time I'll bug @Lait or @Serrice about combat theory or how to get things done.
--That aside, I enjoy coding a lot! Putting together a system has been very rewarding. I'm far from done, but it's a fun challenge.
-For me, I have a difficult time focusing on RP unless it serves a clear purpose. I hate scenes that drag on and on, especially ones that are dramatic.
--My mindset's usually very 'problem. Possible solutions. Execute solution. Repeat as needed.'
--Sometimes, for me, scenes feel instead like 'problem? Problem! Problem??? Problem. Problem... Problem!' 'Solution?' 'Problem, problem problem!'
--I find that really irritating.
-I like starting arguments and being mouthy. Even when I can't back it up.
--I enjoy the ensuing fights even when I lose.
--People RPing arrogance and posturing themselves, but not backing it up, is one of my pet peeves. The game's RPK, not RP-no-consequences.
- I feel like Bene is a 'has been' and bemoan his fall in stature. But by the same token, really can't be arsed to do anything about it. Go figure!
- I miss old school combat where I managed to be a top tier fighter using nothing but aliases and macros as a Sentaari. It allowed for more 'skill' and less automation. The only person that was automated was Acino and then Kadvar. Everyone else was mainly rocking the same alias/macros combo.
- I think it's sad that the game feels like it's getting bigger but less populated. I guess that we're mostly an aging player base that is slowly outgrowing the game and there isn't a lot of fresh blood coming in.
- I'm a lot more into RP than PK (at the moment). More so than I've ever been in my time playing (in spite of point 1).
- I think mudsex is an integral part of RP relationships or character interaction. It can be more important than any of the other stuff you do in some situations. Gotta just roll with it.
- I also find it sad that people find such enjoyment in breaking other people.
- I hate that there are still people I like in the game that makes me continue to play.
...did you count?
Whoops.
by Clexx because I was too dumb at the time to know how