Lost or Missing People??

Macavity

So I was wondering if anyone has heard from the person behind @Arania?  I got an IG OOC message that was not the best news, and for the purpose of not airing her business out here, I am going to leave it at that.  Outside of that I have not heard from her since and its been 20 days or so since she lastlogin and I am getting worried.  Anyone have an information on getting in contact with her?

This also got me thinking and wonder how many others that use to play that does not log in because something happened to them.  =(   

Thoughts?

Haydyn

I've often wondered about another player who my first character was close to. I guess it was almost 5 or so years ago and she evaporated into thin air as well. I was still new to the game, so I didn't really know her well enough OOC to know if she just quit or if something happened to her.

Teani

Knowing a fellow player was planned to go into surgery, I spent a year sending messages and trying to reach another player afterwards, not knowing what had happened. Eventually said person got back to me with news of surviving, so it had a happy ending at least, and I could inform others who had been worried.

I've also had a fellow player send me messages threatening suicide, but never going through with it (mostly because the person wanted attention more than anything else) and had to sit on needles to see if they logged on again the next day, being too far away to make much of a difference.

However, sometimes people disappear for a reason, not wanting to go back to something that might have been destructive. It's never easy figuring out where things might lead. The only thing I know for sure is that those delivering any kind of news to someone in the game should be aware of the worry they might inflict on others. Some people tend to care a lot for their fellow players, even though they never meet in person. For some it's more than a game, it's a community full of people with feelings.

Haven

Teani said:

Knowing a fellow player was planned to go into surgery, I spent a year sending messages and trying to reach another player afterwards, not knowing what had happened. Eventually said person got back to me with news of surviving, so it had a happy ending at least, and I could inform others who had been worried.

I've also had a fellow player send me messages threatening suicide, but never going through with it (mostly because the person wanted attention more than anything else) and had to sit on needles to see if they logged on again the next day, being too far away to make much of a difference.

However, sometimes people disappear for a reason, not wanting to go back to something that might have been destructive. It's never easy figuring out where things might lead. The only thing I know for sure is that those delivering any kind of news to someone in the game should be aware of the worry they might inflict on others. Some people tend to care a lot for their fellow players, even though they never meet in person. For some it's more than a game, it's a community full of people with feelings.

I just wanted to echo that. Also, as in real life, be careful who you trust and get close to. Especially on the internet.

Arbre

And Haven brings the whole thread down by reminding people that Borscin is still lurking somewhere.

Edhain

It's very easy to lie on the internet. Even to fake your own death once you get tired of the lie and want to live another one. I agree with @Haven, because in addition to getting physically hurt by getting too close to someone shady online (the obvious danger), there's also the danger of trusting and caring about someone and then having them totally emotionally bomb you. 

To the OP: Sorry, I don't know anything, but I hope she's OK.

Ezalor

@Teani if it's the same person we're thinking of, trust me. It was purely for attention. Said person threw a BIG temper tantrum and told us all to unicorns off when we actually tried to get her RL help by contacting the Divine and stuff.

Ezrax

This thread's taking a turn for the worst.

Teani

@Ezalor: Nah, this was a young kid from Australia. He confessed eventually that it was just for attention and I told him there were far better ways to make that happen than to make someone feel bad half across the world for not being able to do something.

As for the character in the first post, I don't know who that is, @Macavity. If the message sent to you was very serious (making you feel bad OOCly for worrying very much), you might want to send it over to support and ask them if they can get a respons in some way. I'm not saying it will work or that they will agree to do it, but it could be worth a shot.

Valenae

I don't mean to sound paternalistic but I think a better way is to acknowledge it is as this: know that we're all people with feelings, yes, but we're also people with intentions. The difference between one discourse and another, for me, is to acknowledge that communication online is a 100% more fluid than, say, if you met them in person and had a beer. All you have is a view from no where. If you only speak to them in text you can never fully conceptualize the motives of a person or identify with their social location, which is pivotal in developing a connection. You never know the fullest extent of 'intention trading'. 

tl;dr, I wouldn't get too attached unless your friendship/relationship/whatever social identifier you want to use moves to the 'next level', I dunno - just a thought. 

But anyway - I don't know anything, sorry.  

Teani

@Valenae: As I said, we're all different. Some connect faster than others. Some care more than they should. If everyone was capable of understanding that, things would be so much better.

Macavity

Yeah this thread went in a direction I was not expecting.  heh  

Just to make things a little clearer ...  I am talking about a friendship level and just simply worrying about someone in that way only.  Also I know people go poof because of things that happen in the game they are not happy with or because of life in general, but this person I was made aware that something did happen to them, as she explained to her sister how to log into the messages online and send my toon an OOC message saying what happened, but had very little details.  That was about 20 days ago and I have yet to hear anything since then, and of course I dont have a facebook or email for her either.  

So yeah just worried in that aspect....  ya know?

Ezalor

Yeah shame. Very nice person. I called her the Chocolate Ironbeard and she adopted that as her title. Let us know if you find out anything too!

Konnorn

I think we all have had an experience when someone has "gone missing". We might find out what has happened, or we might never know. After a friend of mine went missing from the game, it took almost a month before I got a mail, explaining what had happened. It wasn't great news, but the end of the mail at least gave some hope. I'm really glad to have gotten the mail, to at least know what is going on.

 

Sometimes people stop playing willingly, feeling a lot of pressure in the game, or feeling they are too attached. Sometimes something happens and they are unable to contact anyone and let them know what is going on and if they plan to come back. And sometimes, sad but true, people pass away and not everyone has family or friends who want to or are able to contact people in the game, or even know the game exists.

 

When things like this happen, best thing to do is just to keep trying. In most cases, you will at least get some sort of respond, even if it might take some time. I hope your friend is okay though.

Macavity

I am happy to announce that @Arania has made contact with me and is doing good.  She has some issues and will be away for awhile but is getting better.