Don’t really know the best way to go about this, so I’m just going to air my dirty laundry in public because I’m, apparently, not very smart.
Recently, I went through a lot of effort to create new RP, both for vampires and for my character personally. This led to a conflict with the Dominion after a while, including some pretty fun cat-and-mouse PVP AND some cool RP with Dominion members. It was some of the most fun I’d had playing since I came back, and it was really fun to do something new when the game has been at a bit of a standstill for months.
THEN I saw Abhorash log on, and I thought “OH BOY! It’s escalated into a full-blown RP event, that’s AWESOME.” I literally got a shot of adrenaline waiting to see what would happen. I saw Dominion members and Abhorash chilling in the zone that was the center of the RP and waited for something, anything--a snarky/condescending Tell from Abhorash, a kill, an ANYTHING, and...nothing happened. Abhorash went to idle while the Dominion, apparently, got a really cool Guild Event out of all of this, and I got to sit around twiddling my thumbs. My anticipation and excitement started to slowly sour and wilt into bitterness and anger as I slowly realized that an event that I helped catalyze and had sunk a lot of time and energy into would just...not include me, at all. It was, probably, one of my biggest disappointments as a player I can think of in recent memory.
In a, frankly, desperate attempt to get attention, I sent a positive Esteem to the pools praising the improv and initiative, but also voiced that I was feeling kinda dejected for not being included, hoping that this would spur something, anything, even if it was a bit desperate. Roughly 10 minutes after that, the event was over, and Abhorash qq’d.
I have heard that similar things have happened to other players who have tried to push unique ideas and plot elements and have similarly been sidelined and ignored while other people get cool admin-centric RP out of it. And I don’t even know why I’m writing this, to be entirely truthful? It just, to be simplistic, really hurt my feelings and it’s a really staggering blow to feel ignored when you put a lot of time into something.
I sent a message to Tiur about how I felt about it, but that doesn’t really make me feel excellent because it makes me feel like I have created a situation like this:
And I don't think it's really a good sign to feel like people are RPing with you only because their boss told them to or they got a complaint. To quote someone else this happened to, "It feels like they're being transparent about which players they don't like." Which may be unfair, but I actually kinda feel that. It may be untrue, but that's how these situations read.
I'm not sure if this is isolated, but I guess if I were to add anything constructive it'd be "If you're going to do an event that someone was highly invested in the scenario surrounding it, doing literally anything to include them would probably make their day, and neglecting to can do the opposite."
I'm unironically and sincerely glad that the Dominion got something cool out of this, and I'm really not mad about conflict getting a resolution from admin doing roleplay. Just salty, and probably will be for a while, that it FEELS like getting admin/pools RP is just...I dunno. Impossible.
Anyway this has been my Bad Idea Sadpost.