Hi. Sappy goodbye post incoming. Prep your eyerolls. Click 'back' if allergic.
I had toyed with the idea of a goodbye post for a while but ruled against it because I guess I was embarrassed. But since the retirement went through, I realized it's unfair to some of you for me to just disappear without an explanation. So here we go.
After MkO was killed (rip), I drifted between MUDs for a few years. Nothing stuck. Until eventually I landed here in Aetolia, and I'm so glad I did. I've had a lot of good times here. Key word being 'had.'
I'm not leaving because of any particular individual. I'm leaving because I stopped having fun.
There was a series of incidents that left me extremely disenchanted with the game. And even after giving it a solid period of effort, I never really recovered my enjoyment of it after that. I lost confidence in my roleplay and was haunted by the idea that my chosen style was doing more harm than good to the playerbase, and that really killed the fun.
I found myself actively withdrawing from RP opportunities that before, I would have leapt at the chance to take on. Having a positive impact on the community means a lot to me, and when I was given cause to start questioning that, all I had left was, 'then why am I here?' Every time I logged in. 'Why am I here?' It became a habit that I couldn't break. Retirement has broken it for good, and I feel so much relief.
You've all been excellent. Templars (somuchlove), Enorian, all allies, all enemies, all godmin. There were two people who did their utmost to help me overcome the self-doubt and I owe them a lot. @Lexen
, I would've stopped playing far, far sooner without you guys. Thank you so much for caring and for trying. I'm sorry for letting you down.
Be kind and understanding to one another. We all become hugely invested in our characters, but at the end of the day, your individual enjoyment of the game hinges on both direct and indirect interactions with others. Imagine if you logged in, did QWHO;CWHO;GWHO;HWHO, and it was only ever you. Treat others well because you need and want them to be here.
I wish every last one of you the very best. To anyone I hurt: I'm sorry.
Lots of love,