So, I'm sorry if this comes across as slightly indulgent (?) on my part, but I wanted to let people know that I'll be quitting. I've left the door open for potential return by not retiring Bene, however, i have no plans to necessarily come back.
This will be the first time in 10 years of playing that I make the conscious decision to leave the game. Any of my previous breaks have been the result of work/holidays/other distractions.
You all know about the situation with the spy shenanigans in Eno. I was heavily involved in that and it affected me quite badly on an OOC level. Despite my feelings, I was quite hesitant to step away from the game on such bad footing because I felt that, if I did leave at that point, Aetolia would be forever tarnished in my eyes and my memories of it would only get worse the longer I stayed away.
Instead I tried to soldier through and find my enjoyment once more. With some emotional blackmail courtesy of @Jory
and the rest of the Templar, I resigned myself to continuing on. However, whilst I do enjoy pk, my chief enjoyment comes from RP. I found that this held no joy for me anymore. I felt angry or indifferent at each attempt to draw me into RP. I felt it had become an obligation. I'm sorry @Aloli
, you must have felt a certain amount of vague animosity being conveyed through Bene as we RP'd that was entirely my own emotional state as a player.
What's really helped me come to this conclusion is an RP with Slyphe earlier on tonight. My character being who he is, I'm a massive fanboy of Slyphe. As we RP'd I can only say I felt nothing. This is not a reflection on them as they're doing an amazing job. What it made me realize was that I'm not having fun anymore.
Maybe I'll forget and eventually get drawn back. I've certainly not closed the door on it. Who knows?
Thanks for all the good times and I'll maybe see you all soon when I feel better about things.