Sorry

Moirean

I've been going through a lot of really hard stuff lately and I've slipped back into bad habits, noticeably my inclination towards heavy drinking. I am really sorry to everyone for the drama, stress and grief my intoxicated play has caused. This is a personal demon I've struggled with for a while and one that I will continue to work on; I've hit a point where I have to change, and I am doubly determined to tackle my issues.

In addition, due to some recent developments I may not be around as much for a span while I sort things out. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Message me and I will get back to you.

Riluo

Focus on you Moi and do not stress, you are a good person. We all must fall to grow and I know as I have been sober for 10 years.

Aarbrok

You know how to find me if you need me, as I have told you many times Moi. We like driven and cheerful Moi, and I can speak for many players when I say we have your back, Real life and Health will always be more important than a game.

Love you hun, just keep your chin up.

Faerah

@Moirean:

It takes a lot of courage to admit, so publicly, that you are struggling with demons. I do not think its any secret that addiction, alcoholism and mental health are large scale societal problems, especially in the gaming community, but most of us struggle with our problems silently or pretend that they do not exist at all. Many of us put forth facades, and some of us are more convincing than others, but the reality is that games like Aetolia and others are escapes and, consequently, a large population of the playerbase is escaping something (be it just a bad day, a job they hate or something far more menacing).

You are not alone in your struggles. I do not know what comfort that knowledge could bring you, but I hope it brings you some sense of solace. I know I'm on "team Moirean" and I think you will find that many people who you would not expect to be are. This might be an escape, but you have added a dose of necessary reality - and I hope that you, and anyone else who feels like you but cannot find their voice, subsequently finds inner peace, strength and the support you need to kick some demon rear-end.

Moirean

I go to a group each week. I think the most useful thing I've taken away is that substance use is not a binary thing, when it comes to risky use, but rather a scale sliding from use into abuse into addiction. Some people's personalities/genetics/childhoods make them more likely to skip right up into high abuse/addiction, while with other people it's a gradual creep, slowly edging up the scale or back down as they rein in their behavior.

Once you hit addiction, though, it doesn't go back, from what studies say. I'm not there, but I've skated close in the past, and have again recently. It helps, for me, being shown that scale - before I heard about that, I thought you were just an addict or not, and I knew I wasn't addicted so it was hard to really sit and look at my use in an honest way. Maybe other people will find that helpful, too.

Ishin

I agree with what @Faerah said. I even mentioned in our Skype convo last night that I thought it was good that you could admit that. It's a hard thing to admit, even when it isn't about drinking problems. I know that after I came home, it literally took me at least two years or so before I'd admit I had issues, and more than that before I'd get seen for them.

I used to do a group thing too, at the VA up in Richmond, and that really helped me a lot with keeping calm and things like that. Just seeing I wasn't alone with my struggle was a big comfort. I hope that going helps you like it helped me, because it made a big difference for me.