A very short embrace

Riluo

I thought I would post this short log to get advice on better emotes as I still feel a bit uncomfortable using them due to my evil dyslexia. In this log I sire a new player, he was very nervous and so did not wish to emote. I do hope to interact with him over time to encourage him to try a few small emote at first as I think it adds to his time in the game.

In this log there is myself, Chelsea and Maerwath (new player). The log is short and sweet so do not expect much.

(fixed it as it was hard to follow)

 

Maerwath kneels before you, swearing his allegiance to you.

You have emoted: The metallic scent of blood wafts upon the air, carrying with it a cloaked figure, its stooped frame unnaturally peculiar given the long strides it takes as it covers the distance with considerable speed. Blood dripping in sanguine like rivulets along its exposed hands the creature chants in a long forgotten language.

Chelsea hangs her head low in reverence of the Prince, Her dark eyes frozen in shock at the sight of the Wraith, "Highness." She blurts.

You have emoted: Placing his blood drenched left palm against Maerwath's forehead, a cloaked figure fixes his attention upon Maerwath.

You say, "It is time."

Maerwath stands up and stretches his arms out wide.

Maerwath nods his head emphatically.

You say, "What I give you now will bind you to the House. Do you understand?"

You chant rhythmically under your breath.

A loud and angry moaning fills the halls.

Thrall Maerwath Nebre'seir says, "I understand, Your Imperial Highness. When you accepted to become my Sire, I had made up my mind that I want to be a part of House Nebre'seir."

You say, "There is no turning back Maerwath, if you should faultier as my childer you will personally know why I have previously decimated cities."

You say, "Very well."

You have emoted: A cloaked figure turns his gaze directly upon Chelsea, tilting his head to the side and driving a surge of psychic energy directly at her through the blood link.

Enzo, the Exterminator says, "Bah, stinkin' job. I hate it."

Chelsea reels from the impact, yet her expression is not one of pain rather confusion. Her glazed eyes hint at her inability to muster even a simple reply. Feet dragging Chelsea lurches forward drawn by her sires will, her wrists exposed to you as she falls slowly to her knees.

You growl at Enzo, the Exterminator menacingly.

You have emoted: Placing his right bloody hand upon Chelsea the Wraith merely nods. His voice deep and thick a cloaked figure bellows, "Ojletu an avub."

Surging to her feet upon command, Chelsea utters a few soft words, "I rise before you Sire as witness."

You say, "Both of you follow."

You greet Iraku, a powerful Consanguine man with a sincere smile. Relaxing the grip on his rapier, Iraku, a powerful Consanguine man gives you a respectful salute.

Iraku, a powerful Consanguine man says, "Welcome, friend. Where do your travels take you today?"

You say, "Direct me to the Bouchard Castle."

You feel the stirring of blood in your veins, and your surroundings shift unsettlingly. Chelsea and Maerwath follow you to the ether.

A vast, well-kept library (26859) - Bloodloch (68)

------ v26859 -------

You have emoted: A cloaked figure reaches under his robes and removes a large key. His eyes fixed on a book shelf he pushes a simple red book into the wall, a groan emanates as a set of hidden cogs turn, followed by the book revealing an ancient keyhole.

You say, "This is my private room."

You say, "Speak not."

A bloody ceremonial chamber. ------ v26798 -------

There are no obvious exits.

"Mmmm..." you softly utter to yourself.

You say, "Final chance Maerwath."

You say, "You may turn back or follow through, what say you."

Thrall Maerwath Nebre'seir says, "I am ready to become a true Consanguine, Sire. For the glory of House Nebre'seir, the true Enforcers of Bloodloch and Consanguine Empire."

You have emoted: A cloaked figure appears to contemplate on the situation, His head nodding ever so briefly as if deep in thought. Suddenly and without provocation, the Old Wraith drives his cowl face forward, fangs piercing tender flesh it rips deeply into your collarbone causing rivulets of blood to cascade down the tattered fabric of his robes.

Chelsea growl at the scent of blood.

Gently, Chelsea tilts Maerwath backward, supporting his weight with her powerful arms. Chelsea lifts Maerwath's chin and softly brings her lips to his neck, pausing briefly. Then quickly, almost brutally, Chelsea slices a gash in the vein and drinks deeply, slurping the blood greedily. As Maerwath grows pale, though, Chelsea stops abruptly and pulls back.

Maerwath's eyes flutter weakly as his life energy fades, death inexorably overtaking him. Chelsea brings her wrist to her mouth and bites down hard, drawing her own blood forth. She presses her gushing wrist to Maerwath's blue lips and allows her blood to flow into his mouth. Within seconds, Maerwath revives and begins suckling vigorously on Chelsea's wrist, greedily drawing the blood from her veins. Chelsea soon appears to grow lightheaded and yanks her wrist back, but the process is complete.

Maerwath's eyes go wide and he clutches at his chest, seemingly grasping for his heart. A moment passes, after which you notice the eerie fact that he is no longer breathing. The panic in Maerwath's eyes subsides as he seems to understand what has happened; he is a vampire.

You say, "Feed now or fall."

Grand Duchess Chelsea Nebre'seir says, "Feed upon the corpses."

With a lustful grin Maerwath drives his fangs into a vein of the corpse of a gnarled spirit and, slurping greedily, draws out its still-warm blood from the wound in long, deep, sucking pulls. Finally satisfied, he casually discards the corpse.

With a lustful grin Maerwath drives his fangs into a vein of the corpse of a gnarled spirit and, slurping greedily, draws out its still-warm blood from the wound in long, deep, sucking pulls. Finally satisfied, he casually discards the corpse.

Maerwath:
He is Student of Mavari.
He is one of the Consanguine.
He is of the Praenomen.
He is by rights a Grand Duke.

You say, "Excellent."

Maerwath will now be known as Grand Duke Maerwath Nebre'seir.

Lim

Woohoo! Grats to Maerwath. I'm glad to see his character make the leap to vampire-hood.

My take on RP is that you and the participants are the most important customers - did you have fun? Did it develop your characters in a way that adds value to your narrative of their lives? It doesn't matter that the words aren't exactly perfect or smooth flowing like butter. As long as everyone who participated understood what happened, can imagine it in their minds eye, and came out from it having had fun - that's the main goal. We don't play the game to impress others and climb some imaginary social ladder of validation, we play the game so we derive enjoyment from it.

My only input as a third party observer would be to be careful of your commas and capitalisation. I'm not sure to what extent your dyslexia hinders your ability to write, so I'm in no position to prescribe extensive advice (seeing as how the rest of us are the privileged ones for not having to overcome a handicap). What I can say has helped me, though, is that I've found that sticking to short, simple sentences really helps. Sometimes I catch myself trying to add too much to a sentence and think- maybe less is more. Short sentences can be impactful.

That said,  I've found that RP, for me, is about the choices my character makes rather than a display of language prowess. I'd much rather have the chance to emote a simple action that tells people the personality of my character, or how he thinks, than a chance to describe a swishing of a blade in minute detail. If you're from this same school of thought, then I hope this comment helps. Keep up the RP! It's the effort and interest to engage that matters.

Haven

@Lim, we need more players like you.

Riluo

Excellent advice and thank you @Lim for your honesty, I appreciate it. Sadly however the dyslexia is very bad, it limits all my writing, spelling and means 99% of the time I mess up something. Hence playing Aetolia, as I get to constantly practice and find new methods for overcoming aspects of it.