Silly Designs

Medri

Sometimes I like to be silly! Sometimes I like to make silly things. Here's an example of the silly stuff that I make.

Appearance: the Ban Hammer

Dropped: A heavy-headed warhammer lies here on its side.

Examined: The only surviving example of its kind, this type of hammer was used in the time of the Ankyrean Order to forcibly remove belligerent mortals from public forums, earning it the common moniker 'ban hammer'. The haft is short, about the length of a longsword, and is made from a sturdy length of treated wood. A cord of leather has been wrapped tightly about the aft end of the hammer, with a sewn loop allowing it to be strapped to the wrist when wielded. The head is particularly larger than most hammers; the symmetrical flat ends are each the width of a Troll's palm. The word "BAN" is embossed in large, extravagant Aetolian lettering on both sides of the head, a clear indication of the weapon's intended purpose.

Daskalos

This seems like a stupidly OOC item to try to make IG.

Medri

Daskalos said:

This seems like a stupidly OOC item to try to make IG.

It was never intended to be made IG, which is why it's posted here.

Piper

Cleverly crafted from non typical materials, this small buckler shield is large enough to give even the tallest person a great amount of cover. The top curls over as if to even offer protection from all forms of precipitation. Made nearly entirely of gold set against a base of sturdy frozen butter, this shield shimmers and glitters under all lighting and even in the darkness due to the many crystals that have been encrusted into the glorious surface. Sleek and shiny, a layer of plywood further backs this shield. It glows alot and is very strong. The handles are formed of sausage links, unable to be broken under any duress. As if to further enforce sturdiness, lacquered feathers line the edges of this enormous, easily carried buckler shield. The bottom has multiple brushes so that one might polish their shoes while they walk.

I purposely made this to be as awful as I could. It went through the queue a couple times, I am so sorry.

Moirean

You totally aren't sorry and you know it, lady.

Periluna

I really wanted a butter shield too. I still remember us just joking about it, then all of a sudden I get a c/p of it and all my neighbors could hear was me squeeing for a few minutes. 

Piper

I'll add some more of my ridiculous stuff as soon as I get home. When I get bored, I like to challenge myself to see what dumb stuff I can make. I have an elephant rectum pipe, bubble wand, puffer fish flail, and some other silly crafts.

Eleanor

I remember Moirean's lumberjack kebabs. And the little teapot was great too.

Here's my contribution to the stupid:

Design #9001   Months Left: 114
Item type: Monocle  Components:  1 glass
Additional Ingredients:  1 silver
Allowed: NONE
Denied: NONE
Autopay: YES
Tag(s): monocle.
Appearance:
a green-tinted scouting monocle
Dropped:
A green-lensed monocle has been left here.
Examined:
Rectangular in shape, this monocle is a bit odd-looking, but seems functional enough. Crafted from
faintly green-tinted glass, it seems to be designed to aid in scouting the measurement of something,
perhaps size or distance, if the small yellow markings that have been etched and painted onto it are
any indication. A thin silver frame supports the glass and attaches to an arm designed to hang over
one ear, aiding in the hands-free usage of the lens should the wearer require to do so.

What else could I do, with a design number like that?

Moirean

Sadly, the lumberjack kebabs (you can eat them all night and eat them all day!) and my fishbowl heels and most everything else decayed. I still have some, though!

Appearance:

a badgering badger badge

Dropped:

A badge lies here, depicting an angry badger.

Examined:

Sewn from a medallion of leather, this badge depicts the most fierce and deadly of the forestal beings: the mighty badger. Embroidered in a menacing pose, with hackles raised and fur ominously stiff, the beast's maw is curled in a grim snarl, while bright yellow thread paints the eyes in a hungry, agitated stare. Depicting the dangers of provoking a wild animal, the piece is a testament to the inherently feral power of a creature truly unfettered by cares beyond survival.

WearLocation: onshirt

Attire:

NONE

Worn 1p:

You proudly affix a badgering badger badge to your breast, displaying the fierce image of a mighty beast.

Worn 3p:

$(name$) proudly affixes a badgering badger badge to $(his$) breast, displaying the fierce image of a mighty beast.

Appearance:

a towering hat of fresh fruit

Dropped:

A fresh and fruity hat lies here.

Examined:

Apples and oranges, peaches and pears, strawberries and even exotic kiwis have been stacked in a towering heap to create this extravagant hat. Carefully held together by a delicately threaded strip of satin, the magnificent headpiece rests close to the owner's brow, while securing beneath the chin with a large, unfurled bow. An over-the-top display of wearable produce, the entire piece sways precariously with movement as pomes and drupes swing with each shift of the bearer's head. A delicate vine curls through the entire piece, adding a single, final flourish to the flamboyant hat.

WearLocation: head

Attire:

precariously perched atop the head

Worn 1p:

With a bit of effort, you heft a towering hat atop your head, its fresh, fruity components swaying and wobbling wildly.

Worn 3p:

With a bit of effort, $(name$) hefts a towering hat atop $(his$) head, its fresh, fruity components swaying and wobbling wildly.

Removed 1p:

You carefully remove your towering hat of fresh fruit, shooing away a few flies.

Removed 3p:

$(name$) carefully removes $(his$) towering hat of fresh fruit, shooing away a few flies.

Appearance:

a heavy iron chastity belt

Dropped:

A metal contraption lies here - not a torture device, but a chastity belt.

Examined:

Clearly designed to hold more than garments together, this heavy belt straps around the hips and wraps down around between the legs in a harnessed arrangement. Iron plates sheathe the thick leather, ensuring no blade, no matter how determined, will sever the restraint, while a soft lambskin lining makes the hefty weight more bearable to wear. A large, complicated-looking lock sits at the waist, clinking loudly with each movement of the owner while it firmly holds the entire belt in place; only a single, specific key would enable removal...an accessory the belt itself seems to be lacking.

WearLocation: waist

Attire:

NONE

Worn 1p:

With a loud jangling and no small measure of effort, you haul a heavy iron chastity belt up over your hips. The garment's lock clicks closed with a fairly ominous note of finality.

Worn 3p:

With a loud jangling and no small measure of effort, $(name$) hauls a heavy iron chastity belt up over $(his$) hips. The garment's lock clicks closed with a fairly ominous note of finality.

Removed 1p:

You manage to unlock a heavy iron chastity belt, swiftly letting it fall to the ground with a loud jangle, leaving your nether regions free once more.

Removed 3p:

$(name$) manages to unlock a heavy iron chastity belt, swiftly letting it fall to the ground with a loud jangle, leaving $(his$) nether regions free once more.

Appearance:

a nefarious, evil villain's mustache wig

Dropped:

A facial wig lies here, curled into a two-pronged mustache.

Examined:

Dyed a deep, menacing black, this facial wig is designed to outfit any villain with the requisite evil mustache. Two long curls, absolutely ideal for twirling while contemplating complex and convoluted plots and schemes, twist out from the center, while a sticky substance allows the owner to plop it directly onto his (or her?) face to immediately upgrade a wardrobe from drab to bad.

WearLocation: head

Attire:

neatly waxed, combed, and prepped for evil

Worn 1p:

You slap a mustache wig onto your face, immediately equipping yourself with the perfect prop to facilitate evil plots and schemes. You can't help but twirl it a few times as you adjust its fit.

Worn 3p:

$(name$) slaps a mustache wig onto $(his$) face, immediately equipping $(him$)self with the perfect prop to facilitate evil plots and schemes. As if reflexively, $(he$) twirls it a few times as $(he$) adjusts its fit.

Removed 1p:

You peel off a black mustache wig, removing your evil villain's prop. Your actual level of evil most likely remains unchanged.

Removed 3p:

$(name$) peels off a black mustache wig, removing $(his$) evil villain's prop. $(his$) actual level of evil most likely remains unchanged.

Piper

My first customized forging attempt. I wanted to make a trainwreck and I think I succeeded.
[spoiler]
Design #158    Months Left: 143
Item type: Flail  Components:  1 wood 3 iron 3 steel
Additional Ingredients:  1 wildcat 1 diamond crystal 1 gold
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): flail.
Appearance:
a ghoulish feline flail
Dropped:
A pile of gore and metal, a ghoulish feline flail has been left here.
Examined:
Carved of solid oak, the handle to this tasteless flail has been decorated by someone with ostentatious tastes. Nearly flat, perfectly faceted crystals have been studded into the glossy, twilight blue color of the painted wood which has been carved widely enough to be easily carried into either battle or around in day-to-day life. From the top of the handle is another gaudy fastening of polished gold, also studded with the glittering decorations, and giving way into large, sturdy steel links. At the very end of each length of chain is a fist-sized iron ball, molded into the shape of a stylized, hissing feline's head with whiskers, ears, fangs and other protruding features designed to be as sharp as mortally possible. As a horrific and ghoulish afterthought after the weapon has been forged and given time to cool, the spiked heads have all been fitted with flayed, partially decomposed faces that look to have been taken directly from the carcasses of wildcats. Constantly threatening to slough off entirely, the gore-encrusted pelts do nothing to pad the blows of this weapon. [/spoiler]

Googly eyed pipe
[spoiler]
Design #2172   Months Left: 143
Item type: Pipe  Components:  1 wood
Additional Ingredients:  1 feather 1 glass
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): pipe.
Appearance:
a green, googly-eyed pipe
Dropped:
A green, googly-eyed pipe has been abandoned here.
Examined:
The bowl of this pipe is deep set in a rotund, solid orb of indeterminable wood. Covered entirely in bright feathers, the downy fluff has been dyed a remarkably vivid shade of lime-green that teeters dangerously on being considered unnatural. Peeking out above a tiny wooden beak and set closely together, two oversized googly eyes formed of glass tend to roll and jangle noisily whenever jostled. This also remains true for the comical yellow legs that dangle from the bottom of the orb, each teeny avian talon tipped with little nails of opaque glass. Jutting out the back, the stem of this pipe has been concealed by multiple nose-tickling feathers of a longer length, closely resembling the tail fan of an actual bird. [/spoiler]

I still want to make a whole line of these sometime.
[spoiler]
Design #6758   Months Left: 143
Item type: Pot  Components:  1 iron
Additional Ingredients: NONE
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): pot.
Appearance:
an extremely cheerful stew pot
Dropped:
Looking recently polished, an extremely cheerful stew pot has been placed here.
Examined:
Cast out of heavy iron, this cheerful pot has been polished to the point where a person can pick out their reflection in the decorative exterior with relative ease. Marching along the bottom of this cooking device are numerous depictions of merry vegetables and cuts of meat with entirely unnatural limbs and overjoyed facial features. Each has been positioned to look as if they were captured in the middle of a silly jig while splashes of paint have been added to give each a minor semblence of realism. [/spoiler]

I like puffer fish
[spoiler]
Design #6856   Months Left: 143
Item type: Flail  Components:  1 wood 3 iron 3 steel
Additional Ingredients:  1 fish
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): flail.
Appearance:
a puffer fish flail
Dropped:
Gathering dust, a puffer fish flail has been abandoned here.
Examined:
Fairly simplistic in design and craft, this flail boasts of a plain wooden handle with metal fastenings. Masterfully wrought iron rings are used in the making of the short chains that jut out from the usual-looking screw holding them in place. At each end is a perfectly replicated puffer fish of iron that has been molded with its mouth opened widely as if it was taking a breath before being captured in its creation. The metallic sea creature is fist-sized and blown up with its spikes sticking out in all directions. Attached after the rest has been forged and dangling right where the wrist loop has been set at the end of the handle is a tiny preserved spiky fish of similar species to the ones that are causing damage, captured in lacquer before it achieved its full growth. [/spoiler]

Moirean's true husband
[spoiler]
Design #8975   Months Left: 143
Item type: Toy  Components:  2 wood
Additional Ingredients:  1 cloth 1 dust
Allowed: NONE
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): toy.
Appearance:
an artifact-laden sock puppet toy
Dropped:
An artifact-laden sock puppet toy lies here, merely a disheveled heap.
Examined:
Made out of an old sock bearing evidence of multiple years of use and twice as many holes that have been darned, this toy is barely identifiable beneath the overwhelming layer of objects that have been fasted to its surface. Carved out of wood by a shaking hand, everything has been covered over with a glistening, excessive layer of diamond dust as if to specifically make a comment about their 'magical' qualities. A lyre has been attached to a colorful, powerful-looking girdle along with multiple vials that are so numerous that they stack on top of each other. Just by the pile of curative containers is a small satchel with a pigeon peeking its head out, its beak firmly clamped over the corner of an oversized letter. Close to the bottom is a dangling pair of boots, each covered with symbolic gauze that has been ripped into tatters, the small treads threatening to trail and tickle the wearer's wrist. Small wings with feathers carefully painted a myriad of unnatural colors, have been attached to the back before flowig parallel to where bracers and spiked knuckles have been attached to the sides. The only modification made to the dull gray sock is embroidered on, each corner of the 'mouth' heavily tilted down in what should be a ferocious, threatening frown. [/spoiler]

Blind seeing-eye cane
[spoiler]
Design #11886  Months Left: 143
Item type: Cane  Components:  2 wood
Additional Ingredients:  1 glass
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): cane.
Appearance:
a red-tipped seeing cane
Dropped:
A red-tipped seeing cane has been abandoned here.
Examined:
This wooden cane has been painted a stark white and is smooth to the touch with a handle carved to make a careful hold more comfortable. Several feet long, the tip has been painted a noticeable cherry red before terminating with a piece of frosted glass to make a tapping sound when struck against a surface. [/spoiler]

My attempt to get the words 'Elephant', Psychedelic', and 'rectum' into the same design. I was bored at the time.
[spoiler]
Design #12786  Months Left: 143
Item type: Pipe  Components:  1 wood
Additional Ingredients: NONE
Allowed: Kerryn
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): pipe.
Appearance:
a psychedelically-colored elephant pipe
Dropped:
A psychedelically-colored elephant pipe has been left here.
Examined:
Painted a myriad of sensational colors, this pipe is vibrant enough to be picked out from among most other objects due to its ostentatious oranges, tropical pinks, sunshine yellows and more. Outside of that eye-catching factor, the body has been carved into the stylized shape of an elephant with fine detailing and small grooves being used to show an abundance of wrinkles set into its wooden skin. Serving as the stem, the beast's trunk is curved and elongated, positioned into a lopsided, inverted 'S' shape. Discretely hidden in the back, a small dipping hollow serves as the bowl and appears to have been purposely designed so that all smoke billows out from what would have been the rectum had it actually been a living creature. [/spoiler]
 
Magical Pretty Girl Scalemail Armor
[spoiler]
Design #5631   Months Left: 143
Item type: Scale mail  Components:  6 steel 5 leather
Additional Ingredients:  1 ammolite 1 cloth
Allowed: Spinesreach
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): scalemail.
Appearance:
lustrous ammolite-inlaid scale mail
Dropped:
Lustrous ammolite-inlaid scale armor is here, waiting to be claimed.
Examined:
Fancily forged, this feminine suit of ammolite-imbedded scale armor has clearly been designed with a specific body type in mind. Steel plates have been carefully shaped to resemble the grooved scales of draconic creatures, each ending in a sharply tapered point, and strategically lashed together to cover the curving torso of the wearer. The entire surface of the armor shimmers in any available lighting with a vibrant array of rainbow tones visible when viewed from different angles as a result of the many flat, polished plates of precious stone that have been set into the metal. A leather-lined steel belt hangs low on the hips, anchoring a burst of iridescent gossamer that further offers a whimsical air to the armor. The fabric has been sewn into full tiers that brush against the reptilian-esque scaling that runs down the line of leg into the polished steel of sabatons that boast of a slight heel. More of the translucent fabric has been used as poufy flair for the shoulders, serving as impractical pauldrons over the armor already covering the joint. [/spoiler]

I don't think I need to explain this one
[spoiler]
Design #16407  Months Left: 144
Item type: Warhammer  Components:  3 wood 5 steel
Additional Ingredients:  1 cloth
Allowed: NONE
Denied: NONE
Autopay: NO
Tag(s): warhammer.
Appearance:
a suggestive warhammer
Dropped:
Thrust into the earth, a suggestive warhammer impales the ground here.
Examined:
Carved from a hard, lacquered ebony wood, the handle for this warhammer is thick and long, easily of a size where two hands are best used for gripping. The base of the shaft has a wide girth with a velvet covering for better comfort when being wielded. Delicate work has been used to paint over the natural black of the weapon with numerous fanciful and suggestive pictures, all brightly colored against the dark background. Laying on her back and wearing nothing but flimsy fabric and her own charm, the painting of small imp woman with curling red locks of hair lazes along the broad side of the actual hammerhead with her feet ending just before it tapers into a vicious point. The other side showcases the same woman in a different position on her stomach with her wings outstretched above her and tail curling enchantingly around one nearly-bared leg. The weapon, itself, looks to be functional at causing damage but that would require the wielder to wish to actually use the warhammer. [/spoiler]

Omei

TIL Piper crafts nothing but derpy stuff.

Periluna

Omei said:

TIL Piper crafts nothing but derpy stuff.

You're late to that party

Oleis

All of them (jk)

Toz

I use that hammer at lessers.

Piper

Toz said:

I use that hammer at lessers.

Ask you should. I don't plan to give that design to anyone but you.

Moirean

...thank god.

Kaleigh

How have I missed this thread! I've got a few that should probably be added to this list. Can't help itwhen an idea comes up and my first though is "omg must make that in aet NOW!" and its done! I'm not the only one with these thoughts right?

Kaleigh

As promised! 

"A floppy shark hat"

This hat is made from a light grey cloth, sewn into a miniature shark with its mouth open wide, bearing all of its teeth. The tail of the shark is slightly floppy, and moves with the wearer. On either side of the hat, near the back of the head, two smaller fins have been sewn on. In a similar fashion, the shark's top fin is placed on top of the head, or the back of the shark. Each fin has been stuffed until it is very stiff and doesn't move or flop with the rest of the hat. Two large, button-like eyes sit on either side of the top fin, closer to the opened mouth. The teeth of the shark are stiff pieces of fabric, attached at regular intervals around the wearer's head.

"Kale" chips - and yes, the pun is intended.

This small handful of chips have been baked, not fried, from kale. The leaves of the green have crisped up nicely to appear slightly solid to the touch. A slight sprinkling of salt shows briefly between the curled leaves clearly to add some 

flavour to the leafy snack.

And last but not least! You've probably seen them hanging around, only because -someone- gave me the smart idea *cough@rashar cough* 

Anyways, it was meant as a joke, but still works! 

"A recruitment tapestry" 

Around the edges of the tapestry is a small border of blue paint, ending at each corner to give way for the little designs in each corner. The top left and bottom right holds a small image of multi-coloured coral, where as the opposite corners hold an image of a small shark, its jaws open looking for prey. Directly in the center of the tapestry is a very detailed image of the top half of a man. The eyes of this man are grey, and stare out directly at you under a mass of disheveled grey hair. The man is topless, and fine lines have been painted over his tanned skin to show his rather muscular form. A stern, yet alluring look is set upon the man's features. The man's left arm is raised, and he is pointing directly out, as if pointing at you. Under the image of the man, in large painted blue letters, are the words "I WANT YOU." Directly under this phrase, in

smaller blue letters, are the words, "To join Lord Slyphe."

And yes, that is supposed to be our dear @Rashar, because who wouldn't want to join something with a poster of a half naked man saying he wanted you on it, right?

Arbre

Obviously @Roux couldn't resist.

Rashar

@roux quit my @slyphe, though. So obviously all she wanted was the @rashar.

And yes, I just @atted myself. Because eff you, I just logged onto Aetolia while getting a tattoo, and I feel like a boss.

Teani

This was delivered to Exayne earlier, almost made Teani gag when he pulled it on right in front of her. >.<

a fluorescent green thong with shoulder straps

This thong is of a very peculiar design and made exclusively for male wearers. Not only is the fabric dyed a bright, fluorescent green, making the garment stand out and draw attention, but the side straps are also longer than normal. Instead of wrapping snugly around the hips, they are meant to be worn across the shoulders, creating a v-shape across chest to cover the nipples. The straps combine at the back again, narrowing as the fabric reaches the butt-area, making it fit perfectly between the buttocks of the wearer. Though neatly covered by the glaring green cloth, the crotch has been quite obviously reinforced by a wooden cup, giving the illusion of a generous package while providing room enough to stow away private parts of varying sizes.

Ezalor

Teani

Yup, that's what it is!

Kaleigh

Saw that and literally went .. what in the..?

Sarkis

My bacon and ice cream leotard.

I got it approved despite an actually reasonable hatred of its existence. I just wanted to prove it could be done. In sequins. I let the design die after making it and have no copies.

Kerryn's super-pot.

Appearance: a combat-ready, heavy, studded cast-iron pot
Dropped: A combat-ready, heavy, studded cast-iron pot lays here unattended.
Examined: This cooking pot seems to have been designed to not only be a practical tool for creating meals, but also to be as intimidating as possible when held. The pot is somewhat large and created with very sturdy features, like inch-thick sides and bottom, four instead of two rivets attaching the handle to the pot, and most noticeable of all, a pattern of square studs that radiate from the sides of of the pot, each protruding a quarter inch. Each square stud is an inch in length and width. The handle itself seems well suited for a double-handed grip, made from sturdy oak with ridges and leather bindings to increase the security of one's grasp. The underside of the pot is stamped with a forge mark fashioned in the form of a face-on tiger, grimacing with its tongue stuck out.

It also takes extra iron, wood, and leather to make but sooo worth seeing Kerryn wield what is in essence, a mace that you can cook with. Furthermore, the thought that anyone hit with it will either look like a waffle or have a Sarkis' face imprinted on their forehead always brings a smile to my face.

Madison

I found this in the Templars shop.

tower shield23567 a rudely decorated tower shield 1148 400gp

A body of toughened wood forms the base of this tower shield, which reaches from the wielder's shoulders all the way to the ground. The front of the shield has been encased in robust iron, giving both weight and protection to the piece, and on the back are two leather straps for the wearer to put an arm through. Yet what is probably the most striking thing about this shield is the bas-relief of a fist on the front of it, a part of the metal casing. A closer examination would show that it's not quite a fist that's in evidence - the hand's middle finger is prominently raised.