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He is an athletic Human, possessing a body type more suited to speed than strength. Short and lean, his body seems to be constantly coiled, ready to move in an instant. Dark caramel skin is marred by a pale scar running across the back of his right hand. A wide nose sits proudly between two dark brown eyes and a hard set mouth, seemingly stuck in transition between a scowl and a smirk. Cropped black hair, practically stubble, adorns his head, cut to a length as to remove any possible unncessary hinderances. The clean shaven nature of his face gives him a boyish look, a stark contrast to the hard set look in his eyes.
Up first, our regular description.
[spoiler]He is an undead muscular Imp and stands at only two or three inches short of four feet. His small frame is particularly muscular, resembling a nearly grown dwarf in stoutness. Pale skin tinged with teal is stretched taut over his small yet stocky frame. His hair is a darkened auburn in colour and is cut short, save for two long braids--one on each side of his face--which reach down to about his chin. Rising out of his temples are a set of horns which attempt to curl back upon themselves in a manner reminiscent of a pubsecent goat. His nose and chin are both long and sharp, which would lend him a somewhat severe countenance if not for his somewhat rounded cheeks, painted red in mimicry of those who are still-living. Jutting forth from jagged and deep scars atop his shoulder blades are two bony nodules, which twitch and quiver in an unsettling fashion.[/spoiler]
Up next, our Earthenform description.
[spoiler]He is an undead muscular Earthen and towers above most mortals at an approximate nine feet in height. His body is formed by a variety of igneous stone, his colour a patchwork of varying shades of grey and black. Dried red clay is fashioned into pauldrons, couters, and greaves, wicked obsidian spikes jutting forth from each piece. Two majestic obsidian horns rise forth from his forehead, each curling backwards and spiraling in a corkscrew fashion. His face can only be described as severe, the stones comprising his nose and chin appearing long and keenly sharpened. A dull red glow in his cheeks hints at roiling magma contained within this giant's hulking form. Protruding from deep crags in his back, two hollow ivory spikes continually flood the ground at his feet with sand and searing hot shards of slag before being mysteriously re-absorbed into his body.[/spoiler]
On second look, less hair. What happened to his hair?
He is a typical Human and an overall slim individual. Standing just over six feet, he poses a clean-cut and neat appearance. His countenance is paled, drawn with two calm, mahogany eyes that rest above a commonplace nose, and his narrowed face ends in a wide mouth with a long jaw. Combed neatly back and parted to the right, his medium-cut hair is almost meticulously cared for, and colored brown as his eyes. His skin is absent of any tan, and he generally holds himself with a polite and proper demeanor. A half-severed ear on the left side of his head distracts from the general picture of his visage, and a deep, slender scar travels from the top of his hand to the palm.
He is a typical human and looks worn by a life of corruption and ill use. Standing just over six feet, he smells faintly of rust. His skin is pale and lumpy like curdled milk, with eyes like chicken giblets, and a squashed nose fit for a hog. His square jaw hides rows of yellowed, crooked teeth behind thin worm-like lips. Greasy dog-brown hair is matted and roughly shorn, unkempt bangs concealing a line of pimped skin atop his scalp. His left ear seems to be been torn off, and he has a nasty scar on one of his hands for some reason.
"The smell of dusty fur, sweet smoke, waiting and patience, a thing that time cannot kill. The moth that candles won't burn."
Orf is going to become an imp again because she is none to pleased with her boring dwarf brain. Here's my thoughts:
Current Orfeo
She is an undead typical Dwarf of a frayed quality, half a head over four feet,
and an exemplification of the stout and capable nature of her people. Orfeo's
features are exaggerated and practical: birthing hips and brawny shoulders, a
small chest and long hands, wide feet and a dun-colored crop haircut. Her thick
musculature is obscured by a healthy, insulating layer of fat which rounds her
cheeks and arms. Well-sooted and ruddy, her face is as dirty as her fingernails
with thin, grey eyebrows; a small, broad-tipped nose; and a pronounced chin and
jawbone.
EDIT: Got rid of some redundancy about how dirty she is:
Born-again Imp Orfeo
She is an undead stalwart Imp as foul-smelling as she is wretched. A full head
under average, her gnarled and gunk-filled ears extend her height by half a foot.
Her body is exaggerated but practical: birthing hips and strong shoulders, a
small chest and long hands, a protective layer of fat and wide feet to hold her
upright, with her vestigial wings and horns cut closely to the flesh. Orfeo's
skin is a pallid, dried-blood hue, showing its use through myriad scars and a
generous coating of grime and filth. Her face is as dirty as her chipped
fingernails with wide-set jaundiced eyes; a long and pointy, crooked nose; a
pronounced chin and jaw; with roughly hewn hair and eyebrows replaced by a few
oozing scabs and scars.
I mostly want to get it down from 10 to 8 lines, and I want to not use so many lists, but I don't know how to accomplish both of those! Any suggestions?
JSYK she/her pronouns!
Got it down to seven lines. The one thing I'm uncomfortable with is the "pallid skin the color of dried blood" - dried blood isn't usually "pallid," and while I think I get what you're implying with that description, I'm not sure how to convey it in a succinct way.
Overall I love the description, though. Love to see dirty, un-pretty people in Aetolia. It's always so easy to go the pretty route, and it makes me so happy to see people NOT do that.
re: dried blood, I think you're 100% and that it's not accurate. It feels heavy handed to me too now that someone is pointing a finger at it. Saying something is pallid by describing it as something inherently oppositional :P It must go!
Something in there is what I'm trying to describe. A little pinker than rust?
JSYK she/her pronouns!
So I took your edit, rearranged some things, and I think I'm happy. Also used docked to describe wings and horns- Carnifex'nall and I think that's a nice touch. Me too!
JSYK she/her pronouns!
"Her/His pasty skin is tinted in an ashen red etc etc"
It often helps to examine some make-up sites to find really interesting uses for describing colors, specifically in the nail polish department since they tend to find some really creative ways to name colors. ^_^
She is a stalwart Yeleni and is about five and a half feet in height. With a slender frame and straight limbs her musculature is the delicate strength devoid of excess fat. As a result, she is far from voluptious, her chest and behind are meagre handfuls of flesh, the curve of her waist outclassing both in defining her femininity. Her face is round and soft, with pale bow lips and high cheekbones. Wide and upturned, her almond eyes are deep green of maturing foliage are easily her defining (and most striking) feature making her almost nymph-like in appearance. A handful of tiny buds sit inconspiciously in her dark-chocolate hair which stumbles in a wave past her shoulders as a swathe brushes from a side and over her forehead in a lazy fringe.
Politics
She is a stalwart Yeleni and is a bit over five feet in height. A slender frame and straight limbs support a delicate musculature, strong but devoid of excess fat. She is far from voluptuous, her hips bespeaking more femininity than either her backside or breast, but her face is rounded and soft, with high cheekbones and pale, bowed lips. Wide and frequently upturned, her almond eyes are those of nymphs, the striking green of maturing foliage. A handful of tiny buds sit inconspicuously in her dark mahogany hair, which cascades past her shoulders, one swath brushing side-to-side across her brow.
I've tried to maintain the "woodsy" feel we're going for here by changing the "dark-chocolate" color comparison to "dark mahogany," but if the red-brown color of that wood doesn't suit you, I'd recommend choosing another type of tree for a similar comparison. It's a good description! Very restrained and delicate, for an endgamer. I like it very much.
Politics
She is a hardy Tsol'aa. A thick mass of bright auburn curls frames a willful face. A long, thin scar that cuts across the right side of her lips and thick, furrowed brows give the appearance of a near permanent scowl. Heavy-lidded eyes the shade of evergreens can be seen keeping a sharp watch on her surroundings. A light spattering of freckles dust her cheeks and nose, barely visible against darkly tanned skin. The Tsol'aa is rather short, standing at a mere five foot, four inches with broad hips and toned limbs.
"Hold my dignity, I'm about to do something sketchy."
height. His skin is particularly rough and gritty, and is an off orange-red
coloration, displaying several small clusters of brown spots from head to toe.
His eyes are bulbous, and almost entirely black. His face is adorned with a mass
of tentacles, resembling a mustache and full beard in appearance, which
partially obscures a mouthful of rows and rows of vicious teeth. A simple fin
sits atop his head, flanked on both sides by a row of long, thin quills. This
peculiar feature is further mimicked along his forearms and between his shoulder
blades.
Anyone able to do anything for me?