Best Of
I kinda hate this toxic facade of kindness that is attempting to spread around Aetolia again. The kind where people are actually jerks in the mean spirited type of way, but brush it off with 'oh it's a joke' or 'you need thicker skin'. I definitely hate people saying you need thicker skin and then turning around and telling people to be nice. Pick one.
I hate people defending their friends when their friends are out of line, and I really hate defending my friends when they're out of line. It's a shit feeling, and it gives people ammunition to use later, either way. Either my friend was a jerk and I admitted it, or I doubled down on their jerk actions being not jerk actions. Aetolian politics sorta demand that we all do it, and I'm tired of playing that game. Sadly, it's ingrained into the very fabric of Aetolia. From PK to RP to Forum's to Discords. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just players, but this side game extends to the pools. A volunteer could do (and has done) some obscene shit and you'd have people flocking to defend them, doubling down. It's even worse when people double down on themselves. It's even *worse* when you're honest about yourself. People use your anger, justified or not, against you. Especially the justified anger. Tiur has never really wiped our slate clean, he's never made up for lying to me, lying to my friends, shit, he's never even apologized for it. Instead he deflected, using 'he said/she said' and the like to avoid the subject if he wasn't able to ignore entirely. The Liruma war still tilts me, years later. We all tried to handle that like adults on the surface, and it wasn't until 6 months after the war that he finally acknowledged our grief in any way. Most of those players are gone, now. They grew tired of people defending his actions and using our justified outrage against us, defending him, a long time ago. I'm pretty slow, I didn't even realize most of my best friends had left this game.
I kinda hate Lin's post. Super subtle toxicity or poorly timed joke?
I kinda hate a lot of things about Aetolia. Like Lighthouses. Moghedu. Making fights Spirit started 'winnable'. I hate that as obvious as I am with those hates it's still probably a little too obscure.
Really I think I just hate Aetolia.
So, I'll just remove myself for the time being. I hope that everything I hate becomes something positive for the rest of you, cause I'm too damn tired to keep hating this game and almost everything about it.
I'm not quitting the game, I just wanted to share this with you.

There’s a lot of confliction in myself, as a person, in writing this post to all of you. The conflict is due to two feelings – my love for Aetolia and what it SHOULD be, and my dismay in way it is.
Let’s start with my love for it. Aetolia in itself, at its best, is a game where I gave so much of my time happily and willingly due to its beautiful storytelling, the friendships forged and the community spirit. I have met and retained so many wonderful friendships, including meeting my now husband here in Aetolia through these threads of friendships. I served as a volunteer for four good years as Cookie Monster Kyna where I was able to develop so many fun storylines alongside all of you, whether through Gods, NPCs, small events or content creation. Honestly, my heart was full and I know the love all of you had for me during this time, and even still as Evelyn or Aithene, is still there. Thank you for that and know it's returned in ways I could never truly express.
But there’s the kicker. WAS. I don’t know where it turned, I won’t point fingers or jump up and down in a tantrum. I have a lot of opinions, but I won’t air ALL OF THEM here because I don’t think it would be healthy. I honestly think it would end up splitting our already splintering community more.
It did turn though. And the opinions I will share are already so prevalent, and points we agree on; the lack of communication, the inability to take responsibility for failings, for emotional manipulation and more. We’re all guilty of one, or more, of these things sometimes, I mean, we’re only human, right? But Aetolia today is no longer built on what it SHOULD be, but on our dismay on it not being even close to that. We’re not rallying around the good anymore, but the bad. Justified? Absolutely in some places. Abso-hecking-lutely. But it’s also not in others.
I think everyone (E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E), including management (paid), needs to take a good, long, hard look on what’s going on here. Because I may have been a bossy, too organised, a too passionate member of this community both as player and staff, and I had some hard learning experiences, but I was a good egg. Perfect? No, but patient, compassionate and caring, and even I've had enough. I don’t write that to be boastful, or even attempt to humble brag, I simply know what I gave this community, and I know what it has given me.
So to you, Aetolia, thank you for the good you gifted me. Thank you for the relationships I’ll carry beyond this farewell.
But until you’re something that will add to my life again, it’s farewell. I hope I get to see you in the future and add colour to your threads once again.
I’ll miss you, but it’s not me, it’s you.
Evelyn
(Aithene and Kyna)