Best Of

So I guess to rephrase the question: what is the best way we, as players, can make it clear that when we give feedback that it's not personal, and what's the best way to reduce hurt feelings all around? Maybe I'm just talking for myself, but I don't think I've ever been angry at a Celani for stuff they've implimented in game, even a little.

This is a huge question @Tetchta, so forgive me in advance if this ends up being a huge answer.

I think step one is always taking a step back and re-reading whatever it is you're about to say before you say it, just like in real life. Like I mentioned in one of my answers above, we're all heavily invested (figuratively, and sometimes literally) in our text characters, so very veeeery often emotions can run a little high with these sorts of things. If you want something to change, going into it emotionally charged is starting off on the wrong foot more times than not.

Step two is just being conscientious of your phrasing. If you wouldn't say it to somebody in person the way you have your feedback typed, you probably shouldn't post it that way.

There's a huge difference between:

"I'm not the biggest fan of this feature, in the future maybe it could be handled this way, here's why and how."

and

"This is the worst feature in the history of Aetolia. You're actively trying to chase players away from the game with this and you must clearly hate the players or else you wouldn't have done this in the first place."

While the second seems super exaggerated, this kind of feedback (and, truthfully, much worse) happens on a regular basis, and can be one of the biggest contributors to burnout. When you get responses like this, it feels like it doesn't matter what you do, it's still not going to be good enough, and there's no actual solution. It's hard to reasonably respond to things like that.

In this same line of thought, if you're dissatisfied with something, having numbers, figures, or factual information to back you up goes a long way. It's hard for us to work with "I just don't like it," but if we have something tangible to work with, it's easier to come up with a solution and/or change the way it's done in the future. "Lol Aetolia's lore is so sloppy" vs "Maybe we can ask for elaboration on X facet of the lore that doesn't seem to make sense."

Finally, some give and take/tempering of expectations needs to be taken into consideration. What might seem like an easy ask/criticism/request to handle something differently might actually be a huge undertaking, and sometimes the resources simply just aren't there to make it happen at that exact time that the issue is raised. That's just an unfortunate reality. We're not a triple-A game studio with tons of paid developers cranking out content and features, but it'd be cool if we were.

Here's an example: My town's got this super awesome independent game shop in it with 5 employees. If I go in and make a request that they start carrying X product and I'm respectful about it, they'll probably hear me out and try to make it happen since I'm a regular customer and it's doable.

If I get mad at them for not having a hyped-up game in stock for me to pick up on release day, they're going to say, "Sorry, we don't have the resources that Gamestop or Walmart does and only got so many copies."

If I start repeatedly complaining about their store to them, or to my friends within earshot of the owner every time I go into it, they're going to end up asking why I keep shopping there if it's as bad as I say it is.


tl;dr

1. Be respectful, and frame your criticisms/requests accordingly
2. Come with specifics and/or facts to back your criticisms up for better chances at better solutions
3. Try to be cognizant of acknowledging the good as much as the bad
4. Understand that because this is a predominantly-volunteer setup, the solutions might be limited in scale to predominantly-volunteer sized solutions and timeframes
5. Keep in mind that you hear what the voices around you say the most. If you're in a circle that hates X feature and constantly berates it, you might think it's a huge thing that must be addressed. What you may not see is another group outside of your circle that absolutely loves it.