Best Of

Hi. No one really knows me well here, so I'm glad this thread exists. Without saying too much, I'm just gonna vent that my RL work environment is toxic, or has became toxic for me at least and I'm really on edge. My manager is being a paranoid idiot at me for reasons beyond my understanding (I'm just blah about attendance, worked there 6 months though.) Not only that but I think they're isolating me, and blocking me of training opportunities that I expressed interest in. I really think they're trying to get me to quit, and doing it by weird bullying behavior. (It's a small crew so, its pretty easy to tell and the walls are thin) It really sucks because I liked my job but I guess its time to move on. That's all. I'm off a few days, having so much anxiety for my real life responsibilities has made me have a beer before 9 am. </blockquote>

If I can give advice on anything, it's document, document, document, document. If you have any evidence of a hostile work environment or them intentionally creating a hostile work environment to get you to quit, that can get your employer into hot water though this depends on the nature of the bullying. Unfortunately, just being an asshole isn't enough to constitute a hostile work environment. There's also the solution of asking your supervisor and sitting down with them to discuss your perceptions in a non-confrontational manner in order to get to the root of it. That all being said, sometimes it's best to just move on.

In any event, it sucks that you're going through that and I can certainly empathize with you as one of my jobs was like that. I lasted three months before leaving on my own.

My rant: I'm just -tired- all the time. This is still that time of year where my seasonal affective disorder is in the extreme and I exist in a perpetual state of lethargy regardless of how much sleep I do or don't get. My body wants to sleep for 14+ hours if allowed, so I have to compel it to get out of bed, which alone is enough to screw up my circadian rhythm.

Lastly, I feel listless. I went to bed last night thinking that I was an awful person, which is often just depression talking when you're isolated and trying to go to bed -- but I feel like I've been in cruise control these last few years and I'm not sure what to do, or what I want out of life. There's tremendous pressure from my family to get married and have kids, but I'm not sure if either of those is for me. There's that fear of being alone for the rest of my life t hat terrifies me, but I enjoy my privacy and independence. I'm definitely leaning towards "no kids" though, I just don't see the viability of it in my future and I'm more against it the more guilt-tripped I get by my family on the subject. They want me to have kids so they can have the enjoyment of having children but then hand them back to me when it's responsibility time and I'm not about that life, nor the amount of money that goes into raising a child. I also just don't think I have any sort of paternal instinct aside from my pets.

So yeah, my rants for today.