My Goodbyes

Since I'll likely get banned from forums very soon, here are my farewells. I wrote these for my orgs, and requested they get posted, but they never did, so here they are:

Letter/Post for Spines

To Spinesreach, my city, my friends, my home-

A handful of days before I was named Chair, I hosted a Town Hall meeting, the city's first in what has become a traditional gathering. It was chaotic, and confused, and as we went around the room, the only thing we could agree on was that the city had no purpose. We were not zealots like the light, or a group banded together to save the forests, nor were we dedicated to darkness and undeath. We had no goal, no overarching purpose like everyone else, and everyone agreed this was our greatest weakness.

Two centuries ago, I was cast out of this city. I spent decades wandering, fighting, bitter and lonely, and – in my heart – alone. I lived in many cities, but I had no home. My path eventually brought me back here, the city of my birth, where I spent the first years of my life – there was debate and wariness, uncertainty when I asked to return. I was very nearly not let in. Our pasts are not something we can easily escape. Our flaws follow us.

However....However, in weakness, in our truest weakest moments, in those darkest memories and most painful experiences, that is where true strength is found. My tumultuous past made me strong – I was ejected as merely a young politician, but I returned as a general, a leader of soldiers and armies, and as a woman who knew how to lead. My changes, all the struggles and setbacks I went through, they made me strong, and the city agreed to let me have another chance.

And, as with myself, so it was with the city. Our greatest weakness, our lack of direction, became our defining strength. We were NOT like the other cities, but instead of seeing that as a flaw, we found the potential in it – instead of being driven blindly by tenets, under the banner of heavy-handed ideals and paradigms, we embraced our diversity, and became something far greater than just a collection of shared outlooks. From the moment I ascended to Chair, my goal, down at its core, was a simple one: create a community.

It's patently clear that this has succeeded, beyond even my hopeful dreams.

This city has become the most successful, vibrant, active and engaging community I have ever encountered in my many long years. Citizens are constantly dashing about on their own plots and schemes and business, but even the newest proletarian will find himself welcomed and sat down with a drink with new friends. We have our many, sometimes disparate, viewpoints, but a single HROAGH, our rallying call, can unite us. We are, truly, a community, full of rich, vibrant diversity and swimming in activity. We ARE the greatest city in Sapience.

Some cite me as the cause – this gives me far more credit than is due, though. I did not make this.You see, the secret about creating a community is that no single person can do it alone. A community is, by definition, a collective effort. Every single member of Spinesreach built this city – I merely helped guide us there. I simply facilitated. YOU built this. I would thank special individuals, but the list is too long – so many of you have helped create this amazing community.

And, now, my time is done. I cannot elaborate on the details, but I must go. Trust me when I say it's vital – I would never abandon this city unless something incredibly urgent demanded it. I have merely one last command: continue. To whoever succeeds me, try to always say yes. This city is full of a crazy, chaotic folk, and that's what makes Spinesreach so great – people WANT to create and lead and be engaged. Just say yes and find ways for those wild ideas to become reality. That's all I ever did.

Goodbye, Spireans. It's been great and my absolute pleasure to serve. I know I'm not one for heavy emotions, but...I love you all. Thank you. I should have said that more. I never had a home...until here. It took me two centuries, but I finally found a place where I belong, thanks to every single one of you. Thank you.

[The rest of the page is smudged and stained, ink smeared by what appears to be drops of water, leaving only a single, legible line, a signature scrawled to read “Moirean Seirath”]


Letter/Post for Carnifex:

Hail, Carnifex,

Many years ago, I found myself wandering along a highway, homeless. Everything I owned, I carried in my arms. I had nowhere to go, every door shut to me – save one, a cold, frosty portcullis atop a mountain. I stood before the Keep, voice lost in the wind, and stated my case. I was trouble, and hated by almost everyone, but I was determined.

The Carnifex saw the strength in me – for it is when we are weakest that our strength truly shines. When you have failed everywhere and lost everything, it is terrifying to try that one last, final chance, to risk everything. They saw the enduring strength beneath my momentary weakness, and I vowed from that point to do what I could to repay that debt.

I took up the mantle of Commander, and began my work to reshape the guild, and build up the army, just as I built myself up as well. Somewhere along the way, though, something odd happened. What began as duty, turned to passion. Those who started as soldiers, became family. What was merely a title, became identity. This became far more than just a job, just a role I filled, and instead became an integral part of who I am.

I have to leave you, now. Trust me and believe me when I say it is vital. I would not abandon the guild for anything less.

But I do not leave you weak, or alone.

An army is not simply a single soldier, and the Carnifex ARE an army. Every single one of us helps build who we are united, like facets on a soulstone. Remember that, and remember your strength. Just as I was momentarily brought low, but still remained strong at my core, such is the Carnifex – setbacks are momentary, and we have survived them all – our loss of Roan, the failure with the abyss, the hound plague - and emerged stronger each time. And so it will continue to be, regardless of who holds the title of Commander, for the Army is resilient and stronger than any one individual.

Remember what you fight for, and remember your fellow solders. Share your strength and shoulder each other's weaknesses. Find your family. Remain united, and you will always flourish. I owe the guild everything, and I thank you for the honor of letting me serve.

In strength,
Your Commander

Letter for Xenia:

Xenia,

Soldier, Lieutenant, daughter. I love you. I know I never say it, but there you go. I always have, and always will. You are a shining special spark in my life, and I have done my best to make that clear, the best I know how. I am a rather terrible mother, but I have tried. I love you.

You are my proudest achievement.

You were so young, so uncertain, but you have grown into someone powerful, and confident, a woman I am proud to stand beside. You stumbled, faltered, tripped like an eager puppy over and over, but I never once minded helping you learn and try again – and every time you did, I saw you change, improve and grow.

You don't realize it, but you are a Someone. You are strong, and people look to you. You inspire and create and lead. You'll see it eventually. I have for many years, already.

I have to go away. I can't explain why – just...just trust me that it's important. You knew this would happen eventually. Hush, don't argue, and just listen. This is WHY I have a second-in-command, and the day you demanded the role, my heart swelled. This is what I have wanted for you, been pushing you towards, for years. Yes, I know it's scary, and overwhelming, and people are going to whine and shout and stress you out. No, you can't run to Duiran. Yes, you can get drunk, but only when you're off duty.

Ha. That was a cruel joke. You're never off duty, not as Commander. Still, you'll find moments, here and there, snatched for yourself. Treasure them, cherish them, and cling tight to the people you share them with, the people you can relax around and be yourself. They are your rocks, and they are vital for, to everyone else, to the soldiers, you are the Commander. You are THEIR rock. It's tiring, but...it's also exciting. Hang in there, until you get to that part. Trust me, it's worth it. With an army at your back, the world is an amazing place.

You may not think you can handle this, or that you're not ready, but I am your mother, and your Commander, and your Chair, and I say you are. You've trusted me, perhaps madly, but devotedly, in everything else, so trust me in this. I believe in you, so you need to believe in yourself.

Stay strong. I love you.

- Mother


Letter to Weston:

Weston,

I almost said it, once, but caught myself. I didn't want to look foolish, or impulsive, or scare you away, but now I have to go, and I don't know if I can ever say it again, so I will say it now: I love you. I don't know what the future holds, or if I'll ever see you again, but at least you now know how I feel.

You saved me. I was empty and numb, and you caught me, reeled me back, and helped me to live again. You taught me how to feel and hope and fear and love once more, and all I can give you are my thanks, and an apology, for vanishing. I have...things to attend to, things more important than me and you, and it breaks my heart. I love you.

Remember me.

[Lines have been scratched out, over and over, until they are illegible, with a smeared smudge of ink from water droplets staining the rest of the page]