So, I'm trying to get into a competitive undergraduate program back home and I suck at editing my own stuff so I was wondering if I could get some feed back on this essay before I send it in the next week.
The prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
Here's the issue: I didn't do so hot my freshman year (I'm a Junior) and I feel compelled to explain my accomplishments since then because this program is very, very competitive.
-Is my essay too dry?
-Do all of my points of analysis connect and are they in line with what is expected of a transfer essay? Are they specific enough? Can you pull them out of essay with little difficulty?
-Are there any grammatical errors?
-Does my personality come out enough? Do I seem personable?
-Does it sound as if I'm slamming my school?
-Is it appropriate to have a complaint regarding the community as well?
-Should I talk about the cultural difference regarding the areas?