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That stance does make someone inconsiderate, yes. Evisceration may be a 'standard' in the game due to mechanics, but that doesn't mean everyone is OK, nor signing up to having/with going through detailed RP either enduring or witnessing it. Same with rape, or other forms of torture and violence. You projecting your tolerance onto other people is harmful and disregards the others in the community as secondary or disposable when it comes to your enjoyment. It makes them, and their experience, irrelevant. It also encourages the rape culture that exists in Aetolia and in IRE, where it's the victim's issue/victim's fault for there being an issue, when people are extremely complex and it isn't always such a cut and dry issue of 'you control your level of involvement' as you make it. It may be that way -for you-, but that isn't so for everyone, -especially- in a game with a 13 year old threshold.There's a difference between PK and mechanics, and forcing someone into a session where you go Ramsay Bolton all over them.
...but there is a set standard. x_x If your threshold is below that standard, you're projecting your lowered tolerance onto others as you have said. How is that okay?
IRE has set the standard. You cannot possibly place blame on someone for following said standard. If they go ABOVE then I see your case and agree...but if they're doing what's normal then I don't understand why there is suddenly an issue. Especially if the person with the lowered tolerance can just leave at any time or speak up.
IF they are feeling trapped then I feel that we as a community need to help establish the fact that they have a lot more power than they think OR the game producers need to lower the standard theshold.
Someone powerful says, "We're going to have to delete you."
You're not expected to think about and write a detailed description of your character responding to a decay slung at you in combat. Therein lies the difference of why it's so much different to roleplay.
...I don't understand why there's a double standard for what's essentially the same thing.
decay Eleanor and You have emoted: Haven reaches out to grab Eleanor's arm, withering her flesh in agonizing pain. (or however detailed I decided to get so long as I matched the scope/lore of the actual skill) are the same thing... why do I have to ask permission for one and not the other? The only real difference is that one literally does damage to your character in a mechanical sense and the other may include more flavor.
I really don't think mechanics should be used to initiate an rp-session. Basically because if I see someone using a skill that is doing damage, my initial reaction would be to run (or possibly fight back. <.<) My initial reaction would most likely -not- be "Oh, let's emote to this guy/girl and see if they want to play!"
I think that when it comes to torture and rape rp, it's highly different from game mechanics. Not from the character standpoint, but from the player standpoint. Players might have experienced something similar and could react very strongly to what is going on. Be sensitive about it. If they say no from the beginning, don't do it. Also, be prepared to fade to black or end things if they become too much for the victim.
For me personally, the minute someone starts using PvP stuff on me, I automatically assume they're just out for the 'lolpk', and aren't interested in RPing at all, and I avoid them entirely even if they do want to RP. Even with the OOC tell, I'd probably be all '**** no, why should I go along with it? I have other things I want to do'.If you do that sort of thing, you're still pretty much 'trapping' them into going along with whatever you want to do. You've already captured them, and you're only presenting them with the option of 'how far do you want to take this' instead of 'are you okay with being kidnapped'; what control do they feel they have with that first option?
I don't think the main thing here is rp that toes the line of what might be uncomfortable. What is being discussed is severe torture/rape/kidnapping. These things -can- be extremely uncomfortable for some people. I am up for most things, but I have my limits and I see no reason to stop playing Aetolia just because I wouldn't agree to them. Also, @Moirean made a great point in that some people might be a bit too insecure to say no in some situations, which could cause things to get out of hand.
What I think is important when it comes to these extremely dark themes, which are not the norm in emoted aetolia, (even though it might be in mechanics), is that we show eachother respect. Of course you can start a darker rp an hope the other person tags along, but when it comes to the really awful things, the big, bad things, show your fellow players some respect, unless you know them well enough to know they will agree to it. If you are unsure if a person can/want to handle it, then ask. It's not too difficult and if you are a good roleplayer, you won't let one ooc tell break the mood.
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Because when you do it as roleplay, you are engaging me as a roleplayer, and I (with my integrity as a roleplayer, self-imposed but something I value) am expected to respond in roleplay. That means I have to consider, hmm, my character's flesh has just been withered and she's being grabbed onto by a dude who's probably got the physical advantage, she's likely in agony and can feel all her cells withering and dying and oh god this is reminding me about how I got bitten by a white-tail and got necrosis of the flesh help help I'm having an episode.If it's in combat I get to go 'oh balls that's a decay emote, he doin' damage, I better run' or a similarly less in-depth response. There is a double standard in regard to what a roleplayer is expected to react to and in what depth, but that's the rope you walk in a game that combines both fightey-combat-mechanics and serious-business-roleplay.Edit: for clarity, I guess what I'm saying is, engaging in emotes expects response in emotes, but engaging in mechanics tends to expect response in mechanics (physically GTFOing being the example here)