RL Struggles, Strife, and Sadnesses



  • AeryxAeryx Docking Nipsy's pay
    I have unfortunately continued to be in the hospital. I'm still in bed right now as I write this. Other than the side effects of the antibiotics I feel fine. They kept me this night because they wanted to test kidney function. Hopefully the doctor will come by in the next hour and a half. Definitely pushing for leaving today. Been taking oral antibiotics instead of IV for a few days now. Got moved yesterday to this room that's meant for less immediate care. I miss getting a full night's sleep in my own bed and eating my own food and hanging out on Aetolia. I will be back later today. Hopefully.
    Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die.
  • NipsyNipsy Setting fire to Aeryx's mine
    Having had my own share of medical issues, when you are at the stage of almost done, but stuck for "observation", randomly unplug things to cause mayhem.


    (Maybe I am more like Nipsy than I think I am)

    All silly aside, get better man, don't worry, YOUR MINES ARE VERY SAFE AND NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED.
  • AeryxAeryx Docking Nipsy's pay
    Haha. I am leaving shortly thank goodness. I'll be back home in a little while. Hopefully my skin doesn't melt from the photosensitivity this antibiotic produces. I thought I was done playing a vampire.
    Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die.
  • AeryxAeryx Docking Nipsy's pay
    I want to click the heart reaction because we love ya but this post is not awesome. Suffice to say I'm not sure there's any words any of us can say to help. I wish we could and it is absolutely terrible to hear you going through this man. I'm so sorry. :(
    Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die.
  • TeaniTeani Shadow Mistress Sweden
    I clicked the awesome react because it's a heart, and you need the love. That's what was deemed appropriate for this thread.

  • Take care, and don't worry about the things in game! If you need me to settle stuff in Aetolia I know you are trying to do but feeling overwhelmed, or just not in the mood, just let me know and I'll do that.

    Health is important, and colon cancer sucks. At least it has been found in its early stage. Better chances for beating those nefarious cells into submission and non-existence!
  • AeryxAeryx Docking Nipsy's pay
    I found out a couple hours ago that I have tested positive for Covid, for the first time. I've had my girlfriend with me most of the week. This morning she DM'd me a self-test she administered to herself that was positive. I let my boss at the DMV know and she told me to go get tested right away, so I left the DMV and went to urgent care and got tested, and did rapid, and it was positive. I've not felt great this week, but I thought it was just a cold or allergies. Been coughing a bit here and there, been feeling congested, and she has too. So now I guess we're gonna quarantine at least until Tuesday.

    The doctor at urgent care told me that if I've had it for 5 days now like we suspect, that I'm probably not getting any worse than this, so that's a relief. I just wonder how I got it, and where I got it, and I hope I didn't make anyone else get it at the DMV.

    This shit sucks. Not as bad as cancer(Still love ya Nipsy and hope you'll be okay), but still something that I wish we could get past some day.
    Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die.
  • Teani said:

    I clicked the awesome react because it's a heart, and you need the love. That's what was deemed appropriate for this thread.

    I clicked disagree but only because it was a sad face. I am sorry you are going through all this Nipsy. Best wishes!
  • TeaniTeani Shadow Mistress Sweden
    Opening post:
    Zaila said:

    For those who don't know, when someone reacts with "awesome" to a post, it shows up as a heart - and that feels like a very appropriate reaction for the idea behind the kinds of posts this thread is intended for. As such, I suggest that we consider that a known thread policy: Awesome = Heart.

  • I can't vent on my social media so bear with me here. My stuff is used for raising donations and sponsors and I try to keep it positive as possible about my wildlife rehabilitation. But JESUS CHRISTMAS I HATE PEOPLE.

    I'm vice president of a non-profit wildlife rehabilitation center and I'm licensed to do this. I also have two jobs.

    I really hate when I am at max capacity with baby animals and I get a call for someone who set a trap and left a baby fox in a trap for several days and they finally felt bad enough to call me.

    I spent my evening crying and doing emergency procedures on a baby red fox that I don't know is going to make it.

    I wanted to throw up the whole time, I cried for like 2 hours, and now I have a baby sleeping next to me until I can get it to a wildlife vet in the morning because they don't have 24 hour wildlife vets.

    I'm so tired, I'm so sick of orphaned baby animals coming in due to human negligence, and I seriously just can't stand that only the handful of us that dedicate our lives to saving animals have to run so exhausted, short staffed (volunteers) and underfunded.

    I hate people and I'm afraid if I go to sleep I'm going to wake up to a dead fox laying next to me.

    Drive slower, stop and check opossums on the road for babies in their pouches, and for the love of Christ, don't set traps and leave animals wounded for no freaking reason please.
  • @Asaraii You are doing an amazing job and you are making the world a better place. You are important, and I wish more people were like you, or at least not harmful to the animals.
  • @cinnamae Thank you! Fox is alive and at the hospital for now, so here's to hoping! Fortunately Cornell has its own wildlife hospital and works amazingly with us rehabbers! If she can be saved to be released, she will be for free, if she can be saved as a non-releaseable (amputated), they will charge us very cheaply for her future vet costs! I'm going to think positive vibes that she has no reason to be euthanized at this point!
  • TeaniTeani Shadow Mistress Sweden
    @Iesid, those dips are difficult, and it's easy to become lonely if you are used to doing things by yourself and not share the struggle. It's a good thing that you are working on that last bit, because having people around to listen when you need to vent or just babble when you need a distraction are good paths towards recovery. You'll get through this.

  • Hey y'all, player of Nisavi here.

    I'm not going to make this a long-winded post, but I am frankly dealing with some mental stuff right now that, compounded with the "pressures" of in-game leadership and the event, are a bit much for me to deal with right now. In between recently becoming a vtuber, changing jobs, one war leading into the War of Night and now another war... Yeah. I'm a bit spent. I deeply apologize for how quickly entrenched my character became upon returning, including towards becoming a Senator with IC guidance from Severn, but I need a break to focus on other more important stuff right now. I hate to do this in the middle of such an important IC event, especially with Spinesreach at war again, but my mind and heart just aren't in the right space to do this. Love y'all. Again, I'm very sorry.
  • KaguraKagura Ironmaw Drilling Grounds
    No need to apologise. This is just a game, so it should never take priority over real life stuff. Take care.
  • AeryxAeryx Docking Nipsy's pay
    This past weekend was supposed to be different. We made plans, my girlfriend, me, my two best friends. It was my birthday so we wanted to have Buffalo Wild Wings together. I finished my half day Saturday at the DMV around noon and came home and sat around at the computer for awhile. Mulled over with my friends what time to go. Anyways. Around 3:30 about a few hours before we intended to go I got the same intense shivering and fever as the last time I was hospitalized. Truth be told it had happened earlier in the week and it went away. This time too I was thinking I'd just handle it and still go. A couple hours later it was still happening and my girlfriend convinced me to go to the ER.

    I've been in the hospital since then which is why no one has seen me on Aetolia since Friday. I have some sort of infection in my blood and it's not the same spot as last time. Both of my legs are fine. They don't know the source of it yet but I've been hooked up to saline and antibiotics all week so far. They're going for a hail Mary here shortly and doing a scan of my abdomen to check there. I have to drink 30 ounces of this Barium Sulfate stuff in preparation in the next two hours and I'm staring at the bottles as I write this just thinking how I hate this so much and I wish I could just fix it permanently. I know fixing it permanently would mean big changes in my life, which likely means leaving things I enjoy like Aetolia in order to fix them.

    I hate that it's come to this but I know I'll be out of here soon and I know I'll feel better again. I already do but hopefully this time this won't come back and we'll figure out the source of it.
    Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die.
  • SibattiSibatti Mamba dur Naya Amidst vibrant flora and trees
    I've been a bit down and out from an end-of-summer flu thing (!?) and simultaneously got locked out of Discord. Sorry for anyone trying to reach me! Working on getting back up soon.
  • Hi.

    I have been gone for a long while and I don't think I'm coming back any time soon, but I wanted to check in here since I've shared in the past and I'm someone who wonders what ever happened to people. So here is some closure.

    I am doing a lot better, not great, but far better than I was when I first left. I have better doctors, better action plans for my health, and a more stable living situation. I am being gentle with myself and getting better sleep. I dropped so much from my life and that was and still is very difficult but has made all the difference in getting my stress levels to a place that doesn't seem impossible to tackle.

    I reread rp logs sometimes and consider logging in again because I miss writing with so many of you beautiful souls, but I know how slippery that slope is and that it would be unhealthy for me to do so. Boundaries and awareness are so important, and I'm taking the refrain 'Real Life Comes First' very seriously.

    These are not empty platitudes, the character development and emotional labor I worked through as Teotl helped me grow and learn as their Player, and so you have all forever impacted my life.

    I hope you are taking care of yourselves and each other the best way you know how.

    Blood, Honey, Dreams, and Chaos,
    Teotl Startail
  • I got a message yesterday morning (saturday) that my Godfather had passed the night before. I haven't seen him in almost 6 years, and ten years before that. But he is the man who made me who I am today. My love of technology, building and repairing computers... all that comes from him. To make it worse(?), and I say that lightly, is he listed me the beneficiary of so much and... it just makes me sob knowing how much he loved me, wanted me to be taken care of when he left this world. I'm not a very verbose person, so I don't have much more to say on the topic, but I just wanted to thank most everyone for the conflicts today. It was a very needed distraction.
  • Man, I lost one of my closest friends of over 15 years a couple days ago very unexpectedly.

    It's really god damn hard to try to find joy, smile, or not cry right now.

    Thanks to my Aetolia friends that have been solids this week, checking in on me and making me smirk in my miserable existence.
  • edited November 20

    I work with Deutsch Drahtaars. Had them in my family for years, I just got the 4th of its kind in my family. This boy's 2.5 years old, great guy. But we got him because his previous owners couldn't handle a working dog with dad out of the house.

    It's been a real blessing, since my father took his dog (who I've been handler for and my girlfriend and I have bonded/raised on his behalf), to go on a hunting trip.

    He went out with my uncle today, and my uncle wanted to take his truck. The dog has to stay in the box of the truck on account of the cats on the property. It was below freezing when they left and the dog was shivering even with blankets over his crate, so my father put a heater in the box after feeding, watering and letting him run and pee.

    My aunty went to check on him mid-morning, and it looks like he succumbed to heat stroke within minutes of her being there.

    This was the first dog since I was a child that I saw through from puppy, that I bonded with. Every other dog I've worked (and there's been lots) I've been able to put a barrier up with, let it go without too much qualm. It's not my dog, right?

    But this boy was MY dog. I picked his name. I took him on his first hunts. I was there when he learned to swim, when he learned to track. I worked him through retrieving, and he was truly a regal champion amongst dogs. He still had the puppy smell on his ears. He never even got to show the world how amazing he was.

    Due to Covid I couldn't test him to make him breedable, and now his genes and everything that was amazing about him is just... gone. I'm wrecked.


    I know it's not the same as a family member, being a dog, but this boy got me through some real tough times. Real tough. He snuck into my heart, I fully bonded with him like I haven't in a long time. I'd have put my life on the line with him. At one point my body -was- a shield to protect him and he was my security as well.

    Just gutted.

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