@Erzsebet - I just had to truck through almost a month of waiting to hear back and background checks and anxiety for my new job.
I totally understand how you are feeling, and I recently switched off of some of my antidepressants and anxiety meds to new ones so September was a rollercoaster of emotions and stress...anxieties and overall crying at things. I literally spent a day watching youtube videos of animals seeing their owners who have been overseas in the military and cried like a baby all day.
Do your best to keep your chin up, whilst we aren't inherently "close" in aetolia, I have seen your drive and passion throughout the years and know anyone would be a fool not to hire you right up and give you an awesome opportunity. I know its easier said than done, but you got this.
Get some good tea, find some chill music...get in relax zone the best you can. (Again I know, easier said than done)
All else fails, do what I did in creating something different than a tree hugging Tsol'aa, I messaged the lore admin and asked:
"Is this okay" ... "Sure, maybe there could be something down the line , who knows...but be prepared to expect something different if it does" ... "Cool. I'll create a dynamic backstory with some good holes in it so it can be modified if said lore comes out down the road" (IE finding out what you know of your history before becoming an adventurer is a lie)
I found its a good way to be unique, if you can expect and roleplay being disappointed or surprised when you find out maybe what you created as a backstory is less cool, and more screwed up than you thought.
THE LOOK Hair: Silver Eyes: Red and blue (Pupil-less) Height: 5'6" Build: Slim Defining Features: He has purple skin and glowing eyes - Also Missing a Left Hand Clothing: Flowing, iron-bound clothing, lots of tomes Tattoos: No Tattoos - Lots of stained flesh Piercings: None Scars: Many - Generally from when the master Crystal exploded and pierced him.
PERSONALITY Strengths: Gathering knowledge, Infiltration, Cooking Weaknesses: Naive, Masochistic, Selfish Attitude: Haughty. Morals: Selfish Pet Peeves: Combatants and people who flaunt might as being superior to intelligence. Best way to piss him off: Challenge knowledge with a fist fight. Best way to get on his good side: Assist him in whatever he is doing
FAVORITES Color: Purple Guild: Archivists Skill: Tenacity - Dropstrike General Skill: Vision - Nightsight Location: Top of the Spire of Mystery Goddess: Chakrasul -or- Iosyne Guild Master/House Head (all time): Kelliara Tattoo: Cloak Artifact: Wings Commodity: Celestite Animal: Raven Item owned: His magic tome. Region: Court of the Consortium NPC: That old syssin guy that constantly runs around. Memory: Iosyne removing the mark of Omei from his hand....by force. Drink: Blackberry and Opium wine Flower: Opium poppies Food: Cheesecake
MINDSET Goals: Collection of knowledge and lore Ambitions: Gaining enough courage to return to Albedos one day Nemesis: Himself Rival: His Sister, Siofra Best Friend: Phoenecia Idol: Drestyn Best Personal Achievement: Joining Spinesreach and finding a new home Worst Personal Achievement: Joining a pack and becoming insular Proudest Moment: Escaping his previous life and joining the people of Sapience Most shameful moment: Eating the aalen sludge Secret Dream: Remove the alliance with Bloodloch and instead befriend Duiran One Wish: To become a real boy.
SUMMARY Why you should hate him: He's absolutely nuts Why you should love him: He's absolutely nuts Why you should fear him: See above...but really, he will cut you in half if you cross him. Why he is harmless: He doesnt understand half his classes aside from artifact damage. If he ruled the world, you'd best expect: A moderate tithe to his highness, Runas If you were to describe him in one sentence: Crackhead Eggplant with a vendetta.