The word 'jerk' was directed at someone not understanding that another person might just be feeling tired and drained.
Not at someone wanting spontaneous conflict. It's fine to want it. And even to instigate it.
Just be more understanding if someone doesn't feel like a fight. If you don't actually care, then don't ask, just attack. That's perfectly acceptable. Everything in character.
If you do ask the person oocly though, then you need to accept their response and be more understanding. The moment you ask, it isn't spontaneous anymore, is it? It's organised oocly, through a negotiation. Instead of accusing them of stifling conflict, suggest postponing until the next day.
Incidentally, I used the word jerk. In Australia, that's about as soft an insult as exists. I've called my boss a jerk and just got a chuckle in return. But apologies if it offended.
As for evil vs good - I struggle to play an evil character for long periods when the flavour of evil is the stereotypical psychopath. A few months is okay, and after that it is draining.
I've played a few 'hero' characters, and I slip into the role easily enough, but after the first one (Shallam/Pentharian in early Achaea) it's been boring each time since.
I've had the most fun with characters that are a bit of a mix. Characters that are not obviously evil but do some evil things either due to a 'might is right', mentality, or some kind of zealotry. (Imperian's Antioch, at least in the early days, Ithaqua later on, and of course Haern's order here in Aetolia.)
Does that mean I feel comfortable with evil-order but not chaotic-evil? Or just that I like being more neutral? Not sure.
It also depends on the players that are members. You can still have a lot of fun and do a lot with an inactive order, especially if there is still a player behind the god that just isn't around much, but can still be 'booked in' by the players for the occasional RP thing (common enough with coder's that also have an in-role god character.)
If the members of the order are fun to be around and proactive, then the god is more likely to go visible and chime in on the OT.
I've always felt it hard to concentrate on too many orgs at once, even when I was at my most active, but one nice thing is that religion RP doesn't need an order, and can instead be focussed into guild/city and enrich that experience instead.